" so the thing is, i'm gay. it's the
first time i've said those words
out loud. "
caleb blanchard is just about to
start his junior year, but he has
a big secret that's weighing on
him, and it's weighing on him
heavy. see... caleb blanchard
is gay...
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LOVE, CALEB CHAPTER FIVE
DEAR CALEB, First of all, calm down, buddy. Even if you aren't into this guy, I still think it's great that you kissed him. It takes off the pressure from it later. You know, my first kiss with a guy wasn't so great either. I kissed Benji when he was still in a relationship with someone else. It threw a heavy wrench in our friendship for a while. So, I think you'll be fine. At least it was a consensual, non-awkward kiss. As far as the love stuff goes, I guess I just... knew. Simon once compared it to rockets taking off. Look for your rocket man. You'll know it when you feel it, I promise. Write to me again soon. Love, Victor
Caleb woke up to his phone ringing. It really didn't help his splitting headache. With a groan, he blindly reached over for his phone, checking the caller ID. It was Lydia. "Hello?", he answered groggily.
"Do not check Creek Secrets", Lydia said immediately.
Caleb sat up slowly. "Well, now I wanna check it", he decided, going over to his desk and booting up his laptop.
Caleb faltered immediately, his hands freezing over the keyboard. "...What?"
"Someone saw you, Caleb. They filmed it", Lydia informed. Caleb immediately pulled up the Creek Secrets blog. The post was the first thing you saw. And it was also at the top under the most viewed tab. Some of the the comments were positive, but the rest... Caleb felt like he was gonna be sick. His anxiety spiked instantly. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. This could not be happening. Why was this happening? And whoever had just blown his life up didn't even have the decency to put their name. 'An anonymous sender' his ass. "I just don't understand why you didn't tell me."
"Are you seriously mad at me right now?", Caleb asked, astonished.
"I'm not mad, I'm hurt!", Lydia exclaimed. "We tell each other everything, and you couldn't tell me something as monumental as this?" It broke her heart. Did Caleb not trust her anymore? Was she no longer as close to him as she thought she was? She thought they had the perfect friendship. "I could have helped! I could have looked out for you! I could have-" Lydia didn't know why, but she felt guilty. Her friend didn't deserve to be outed like this. He deserved to have that moment on his own terms. She felt like she could have done more to protect him
"You're hurt? I just got outed to the entire school against my will! How do you think I feel?" Was his life not enough stress and anxiety as it was? Now he has to deal with this bullshit, and with Lydia being mad at him too?
"You were the first person I came out to, Caleb. I'm not mad at you, at all. It just kind of breaks my heart that you don't have the same trust in me that I have in you. I want you to be able to talk to me about anything. Finding out that my best friend in the entire world hid a major part of himself from me is the most betrayed I've ever felt. And I wanna understand, but I can't understand if you don't help me to, and- and I just feel like if I knew I would have been more on guard. I- I shouldn't have let this happen to you!"
