Lai
l leaned against my bedpost, looking at my nails, while holding my phone up to my ear. Michael wanted to talk so I was going to give him this chance to talk because I missed him, plus, I owed him a explanation and I deserved an apology. "Hello?" he answered. It was late right now and I had to get Amare so we weren't going to be able to talk now.
"We can talk tomorrow morning if that's cool with you." I said. I'm just ready to get straight to it and get it done with. I'm not trying to sit and have a deep conversation with him.
"Why not now or tomorrow night? I'll be in the studio then," he responded. "I have stuff to do now and tomorrow's night is cool. Just text me." I quickly hung up my phone then walked out of my room. Amare and his late night fun has gotten on my nerves and I'm glad my parents will be back tomorrow to get him. I missed my little girl, too.
Amare and an older boy was standing on the porch, conversing, when I pulled up. He was decent looking, too. I noticed that they were passing something back and forth. A fucking blunt! With zero hesitation, I opened the car door and walked over to the porch. My face was hot and it felt like my head was about to explode.
"Amare, what the fuck? I give you the opportunity to go out and you do this. You're young and you have a lot ahead of you-- How old are you?" I looked at the boy. He sighed.
"Twenty-four"
"24? He's 8 years behind you. Is this what you would you allow your brother or child to do?" The fact that he looked so nonchalant about this made matters even worse. My parents made sure they gave Amare and I the chance of experiencing because it's natural but I had no clue he was this much of an idiot. I don't even smoke and I'm twenty-two fucking years old.
"My parents were rough on me when I was a youngin' so whenever I got the chance to experiment of course I went all out and did things I knew they would disapprove of. Amare like a son to me and I always makes sure he's cool. He can talk to me and tell me the pressure his pops and 'em put on him about living the way they want him to. Look, you can be upset all you want but that doesn't change a thing. He gon' do it regardless if y'all like it or not, feel me?" His eyes were low and the blunt was in his hand. Amare was nodding his head, agreeing with everything this pothead said.
I was calm and quiet as we made our way back to the house. Amare looked at peace but this was eating me up inside. I was irritated as hell because he's in my hands, he's my responsibilty as of now and this is what he decides on doing. He had his head relaxing on the headrest as he took deep breaths every other minute.
"I'm mad at you," I spoke. He popped one eye open and a smirk came upon his face.
"For what? Growing up?"
"No! You lied to me, Amare. I thought we had a bond way stronger than this but you proved me wrong. I gave you an inch and you took a mile. My parents left you with me for a reason. They think that I'm responsible but because of this they're never going to trust me again. Do you know how long it took for me to even get my father's trust again? I'm finally getting closer to him again and you go out and do this knowing that they're going to blame me for this? You really need to get your priorities straight and stop trying to fit in with the older crowd." I glanced at him. His face was red.
"It's not like they give a fuck! All they care about is you and Malasia. Man, hop off my dick with this you got everything ahead of you. I ain't even going to a college with how my grades looking. Brandon can help me out until I turn eighteen." We got out of the car and he attempted to walk ahead of me but I grabbed him by his windbreaker and pulled him close to me.
"Amare, you need to stay in a child's place and stop following in that dude's footsteps. You think this is cute but you look a mess. What makes you think you have heart now? Have your little friends pumped your head up? Stop trying to be something you're not. You're a 16 year-old boy from Santa Ana, California who has had a pretty nice life and nice things." I pushed him to the ground then immediately regretted it. He only felt left out exactly like I did a while ago. He had tears strolling down his cheek and he was breathing heavy.
