The Rampage MC #1: Levi/Chain and Genny

Chapter 4: This Is Getting Old

You may think you have no more tears to cry, you may feel as if you just couldn't cry ever again, but the fact is, those are lies. You always have more tears. The supply is as endless as pain is deep.

The minute I shut the door in their faces, I hit the ground, and found out I had approximately three billion tears left in me. Once I worked the tears out of my system, I wiped off my face and picked myself up.

Again.

That night, while I posted my home for sale with the pictures I had taken before Jerica hit me with her surprise, my mind was running in the background about everything that just felt off to me.

Levi kissing her the night of our engagement after assuring me multiple times that he wasn't attracted to her.

Levi telling me that he thought I was gorgeous and sexy, and then telling his brothers he wanted to marry me because I was plain.

Levi telling me repeatedly that we needed to talk, but then not having an explanation for me at the ready when I gave him the chance. I can't.

Levi letting Jerica have my ring and telling her he bought it with her in mind. Why would he do that?

And, strangest of all, Levi telling me several times that I owed him a wedding but he was engaged to Jerica.

By the time I hit the SellMyHome! button, I was exhausted. Yet, once again, sleep was elusive. My mind wouldn't shut off; I felt like there was a mystery to be solved but I didn't have all of the clues. If this had been a math problem, the numbers definitely weren't adding up.

Since it looked like I wouldn't be returning to Ella as soon as I'd hoped, I could no longer put off grocery shopping. Fast food was fine for a few days, but long term, just...no. After downing my morning coffee, I'd made my way to the grocery store, hoping I wouldn't see anyone I knew nor be forced into small talk.

I should have known my life wouldn't be that easy. Leaving the produce section, I pushed my cart  around the corner of an aisle and came cart-to-cart with Levi.

"Genny, we need to talk," he said quietly, quickly, his eyes scanning the store.

"You've had your chance, but you said nothing." I told him. "This is getting old, you constantly telling me we need to talk."

His eyes drilled into mine, willing me to...what, I couldn't tell. "Just remember, you owe me a wedding."

"What did you just say to her?" Jerica's voice came from behind him.

A look that, again, I couldn't decipher flashed in his eyes. Jerica slipped her arm around his waist and looked up at him. 

"I told her she still owed me for the wedding. I lost a lot of money and I want her to pay me back."

"That's too perfect -- in a way, she'd be paying for our wedding." Jerica's laugh was delighted. "We'll get back to you with the total you owe us." 

"Yeah, that won't be happening," I assured them.

"What won't be happening?" came Seline's voice. Could this day get any freaking worse?

My dad walked up beside Seline because...life hated me for the last few months and this was turning into a Greek tragedy.

"Genny said she's not going to pay Levi back for the money he lost when he had to cancel their wedding." As always, Jerica enjoyed tattling on me.

"Well, why don't you come over tonight and we can discuss it?" Seline said as if it were the most reasonable suggestion in the world. "We're having an engagement barbecue for Levi and Jerica tonight at home for some friends. You could come, too. And then we can work out how best to pay Levi back."

"Genny," my dad said, "it would be the right thing to do. You did cost him a lot of money, and now with Jerica's wedding coming up...it would help. It's the mature thing to do."

You know, I didn't even get mad. Frankly, the entire conversation was completely surreal, almost laughable. Inside, I just felt flat, disconnected...dead. I had finally hit my limit with life and had no reaction to the idiocy they were all spewing. There was nothing left inside of me except a vast, hollow void, a feeling that the light inside of me had just been extinguished after sputtering to its inevitable end. I was done.

"I will not be paying anyone back for the wedding that did not take place. If I could legally divorce or separate myself from this joke of a family, I would." My voice didn't even sound normal to me it was so flat, lifeless. "Since I can't, just know that as soon as I sell my house, I'm leaving town, changing my number and will never have anything to do with any of you ever again. None of you exist for me as of this moment, and I'll be happy to return the favor and disappear from your lives."

I left my half-filled cart, walked out of the store  and went back to my house.

Half an hour later, I was ready to re-think not existing for Levi. I wanted to exist for him in a very serious, painful way. When I'd checked out my house listing to see if I'd had any queries, I'd been surprised to discover that my tiny, two-bedroom, one bath bungalow was now listed for $2.5 million, and the photographs made each room look as if my house could be featured on an episode of world's worst hoarders. When I tried to change the price and photos, I discovered I was locked out of the account.

At this point, I was seriously considering how long my credit rating would be hurt if I just walked away from my house and let the bank have it so I could leave everyone behind. 

Needing some normal human interaction, I called Ella and relayed the day's events.

"OK, this is some serious bullshit and you just need to put every single one of those assholes in your rear view mirror," she raged over the phone. "You can live with me for a while, as planned, keep paying your mortgage, and then when things settle down, you can sell your house. You do not need to stay in that toxic waste dump until your house sells. You got it?"

This is what I had needed, someone removed from the situation to get me moving and to stop feeling sorry for myself. Other people had crappy, horrible families; they moved on, moved past them and rose above their circumstances. I could, too. I would. Given that I already had a successful business, my house was an inconvenience that could wait. I did not need to deal with it right at this moment when my family was attempting to destroy me in every way possible. Ella was absolutely right -- it was more important for me to leave the toxicity behind and protect myself.

"Where's your head," she asked me.

"It's thinking you are very wise. Give me a couple of days, and I'll be heading out to you, for good this time."

"It's about time you did you, chicky. Screw all of them. They don't deserve you."

No, they really didn't.