Missing From Me

26| white hot chocolate

Amaltheia's POV

I was supposed to be angry with him. I am angry. But as soon as I entered the apartment, heart heavy with memories of Cason, I saw Julien.

The entryway has the perfect view of the living room and I see him sitting on the floor. I can't seem to take my eyes off of him. Concern is an emotion that creeps up out of nowhere.

There's something off about Julien. He doesn't look good.

He rubs the left part of his chest—his heart—with a pained look on his face and I can tell he's breathing heavily. Quietly, I take off my shoes and hang my jacket on the coat rack.

I inch closer to the room without being noticeable just to check if I'm seeing right. The strap of my purse falls off of my shoulder and I place it on the edge of the sofa.

I shouldn't be intruding like this but it's not like I meant to...

No, I didn't, but do I intervene? Is family a straining subject for Julien? He was meant to enjoy the rest of his birthday with them. The side that wants to interfere wins and I stride toward him. I don't like seeing him like this no matter how much of an ass he can be.

It's disorienting yet it makes me curious. He's supposed to be untouchable. That's how I've always seen Julien be. He is human, however. It's impossible not to go through pain. But pain that I see? Pain that Julien shows? He doesn't show me anything. And I don't like to take. So I'd rather have him know what I've seen than hide it.

"Julien!" I call out. He turns his head towards me in surprise and I hurriedly shout, "Get up!"

An uncomfortable and trepid expression flashed across his face before his eyebrows knit in confusion. "What?"

"Come on. Up. Up, Julie."

He looks absolutely stunned and I purse my lips in an effort not to laugh. He takes a year to stand up and I gesture for him to move the pace. "Allons-y!"

"I understand English just fine–"

There he is.

I clasp his forearm and unlock the balcony doors in a split second. "Where–what's wrong with you?"

I ignore him and push all the furniture to the side so that there's enough space for movement. The wind is strong. Strong but exhilarating. I quickly tie back my windstrewn hair and smooth away any flyaways.

Julien suddenly grabs my wrist to halt my movement and looks straight into my eyes. "What are you doing, Amaltheia?" His voice sounds scratchy and rough.

I stare right back into his dark eyes that remind me of the day we meant. I really like Julien's face. Like I really really like it.

"We're going to do some yoga."

Julien looks bewildered. "What the–"

"Nuh-uh," I shake a finger at him. "C'mon just copy me."

My feet are shoulder-width apart as I extend my arms to the sides. He stares at me in disbelief before shaking his head and turning around. "I'm not in the mood for this shit."

"Hey, just–"

"No."

My hand shoots out to grip his arm. "C'mon, don't be an ass, Julien."

He immediately turns around, pinning me with an intense look and something more. "Well that's what I am, Amaltheia, and you can't change it."

His words are sharp and I want to take them back. I think I hurt his feelings. And that's the reason for my sudden loss of words.