La Seine and I - Mavis Hall
They sat.
For the longest time, 'twas all they did.
They sat by the water, looking out instead of down. Not down, dear god no, looking down means seeing a reflection. Anything but their reflection. Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything.
And they thought.
For as long as they could remember, it plagued them.
They thought by the river, drowning. Not in the water, in themself. In their own mind, they suffocated and struggled, they thought. It was mortifying. They wanted anything but to think. Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything.
And they sang.
Alone, completely and devastatingly and helplessly, they were alone. Not a single other soul was around as they sat on that beach and poured out every emotion with a few repeated words.
And they waited.
For agonizing eternity, they simply waited with only the water and their words for comfort.
It felt to them as if they were giving their life away. By singing so powerfully, maybe another person would feel it. Not hear, no, maybe someone could feel it.
In fact, they knew. They knew that someone could feel it.
But only one person dared to come close to them.
The tide.
It was like a game, as they sat and they thought and they sang and they waited, they watched the waves. Would it touch their feet? Would it perhaps be brave enough to sting their legs with the coldness of it? Or would they freeze, completely untouched by the water's love?
They didn't know. They didn't know, didn't know, didn't know, didn't know, didn't know.
But as they lifted their eyes to the sky, they saw the face of a friend.
The moon.
She smiled at them, offering her gentle hand, her graceful presence calming the child. They smiled back at her, embracing every distant crevice digging into her, only making her more beautiful, more intricate, more of a piece of art.
And still, they sang. As they realized that their only two friends, the moon and the tide, were connected, they simply sang into the fading daylight.
But now, they weren't the only one singing.
The moon joined in, offering her glow. The stars danced along to the purity being released from them. The tide kept beat with each wave, and they were all together. For once, they weren't alone.
The child had found a family with the sky and the sea.
And with that thought, hitting them like a train after having an empty mind, they continued. As tears of joy and lost loneliness fell from the child's face, their voice broke. And it simply made the sound of liquid moonlight emerging from the depths of their soul all the more pure and beautiful.
Repeating the same three lines, over and over and over and over again, the child stood. And they refused to let a thought invade their mind. And they were no longer waiting, for they had found their home. Their family.
But still, they sang, and they danced, and they screamed and they wept and they smiled and they were free.
They poured each word out as smooth and warm as tea, as fragile and broken and proud as a vintage mug smashed carelessly into a million pieces, as pure and whole and complete and full as the river still keeping beat before them, and finally, they were truly living.
"I feel alive, when I'm beside la Seine, la Seine, la Seine"
They spread their arms out and imagined flying up to the moon, their precious moon, and dancing among the stars they felt so welcomed and completed by. The moon continued along with them, and from the way they saw her ethereal reflection in the water of the river, she was more beautiful than anything they had ever seen before. If they had believed in gods, the moon would be one of them.
"From this angle, like an angel, la Seine, la Seine, la Seine"
And then their voice got quieter as they accepted that they were no longer so alone, so trapped and glued and stitched together by their own hand. They were complete now. And they wondered why they hadn't known earlier, they wondered why the sphere of pure beauty had waited until tonight to welcome them into her gentle arms and hold them as her own child. There were so many wonders in the child's mind, but they blocked out all thoughts once more. Or rather, they stirred them up and turned them into the emotions continuously flowing through and out of them through their voice.
"I don't know, don't know, so don't ask me why, it's how are, la Seine and I"
They looked up to their moon, and she seemed to read them instantly. She did not move, of course, for she was the moon. But she twinkled so subtly and the child was sure it was a sign. It was a yes. They knew now what they would do, but they would refuse to do it unless they could sing during the process. So as they stepped into the frigid waters, eyes open so as to welcome their wondrous fate completely, they felt lighter than they had ever felt. The cold, heavy chain of loneliness had been lifted from them, and as their head submerged, they welcomed the water.
Arms spread once again, looking up through the water and seeing the blurry face of their beautiful lune, they opened their mouth to finish one last time. And even underwater, their voice was just as purely angelic as it had always been. In fact, it was all the more precious now.
"I don't know, don't know, so don't ask me why, it's how we are, la Seine and I"
And then they inhaled, forgetting they were underwater. But they did not emerge, no, they continued walking as their lungs burned, for they did not feel any of the pain. They did not feel at all as if they were dying, they were so much more free under here. Perhaps that's all death was: true freedom.
As the body dropped, never to move of it's own free volition again, the child themself continued to walk. Their soul walked upward, to the moon, to finally hold her and be in the soft glow of her smile and the gentle firmness of her arms.
Oh, no, that was not the last of the child. They shall live on forever, you see? Any child of the moon does. They live on in the glow of La Belle Lune, forever singing with the crickets and the birds, dancing and sparkling with Les Étoiles, eternally playing and humming with their friend La Marée.
