As Things Should Be

-26- Worry

Nerves had become a natural unpleasant sensation to Doma. He didn't like them, he wasn't fond of them, but they were emotions so he supposed he should be thankful for them. 

Months of staying in the same place had given him a foreign peace of mind. He liked being at the Butterfly Estate, he liked not having to run or fret about where their next roof would be or if there was something on their heels. Now he wasn't fond of seeing slayers ferried in with missing limbs or hearing their screams as gentle Kanae tried to tend to them - but there had to be something to complain about.

Now... now he was leaving, moving for the first time away from what he'd basically made into a new home. Anything could happen while he was away. Akaza said he was being idiotic and if anything did happen they would he would be perfectly suited to handle it. Daki and Gyutaro shared equal sentiment, almost too eager at the thought of tearing Kokushibo apart (which Doma really didn't want to test, bloodlust or no those two had no chance of taking Upper One in a proper battle).

Kanae though... she seemed a bit more understanding of his trepidation and hesitance to step outside the manor.

"It's perfectly normal to be afraid," she assured him. Her sword was at her side and she was looking into the night sky with a familiar wonder in her eyes.

"I would hope that by now you would've figured out I'm anything but normal," Doma sighed heavily. His fans were heavy at his sides and his chest even more so.

The crickets sang and the stars shines but all Doma could feel was fear. So many terrible, terrible things could happen - he'd been telling himself that for years but now all those fears were rearing their heads and pulling on their reigns.

"When Shinobu and I first came here, I didn't step outside for weeks," Kanae laughed a little at herself. "Shinobu's always been too angry to be scared of much - me? not so much."

"She reminded me of Inosuke, Shinobu I mean," Doma chuckled dryly. "If Inosuke was a bit more civil and a lot less wild."

"You know - there is something to be said about the two of them and their anger issues," Kanae giggled. She looked up at the demon and probably saw right through him. "You've said your goodbyes?"

"Yes... three times in some cases," Doma admitted bashfully, his thoughts fully on Kotoha's soft little laugh that she'd made when he had hugged her for the said third time. His expression made Kanae smile.

"I know you love them all, and I promise I will protect them to my fullest abilities while you are away." Gone was the bright and bubbly elder sister who watched over the estate and in her place was a powerful, determined hashira whose eyes left no room for doubt.

Doma was grateful for her. Grateful for her kindness to let them have this haven, grateful for her heart that so readily took them all in, grateful for the strength in her pose that reminded him of the powers the humans around the possessed.

Maybe Gyutaro and Daki would struggle to take on Kokushibo... but maybe if they had Kanae with them... maybe...

"Thank you," he murmured, but it did little to convey how truly, truly thankful he was for it all.

"Thank you," she smiled and back was the wonder-filled joyous young woman who had nothing but kindness in her eyes. "For trusting me."

Doma smiled a final time and gathered enough courage to take that step off the porch and walk for the gate. The first two were hard but the ones after felt surprisingly easier. It was strange to be alone, to walk without Miku taking his hand or Kotoha at his side. It was strange... but what had Kotoha said? "You have to remember to live with yourself too."