The thrill

The fantasy

I guess I keep you in my mind because it is the only thing keeping me occupied. You are safe to fantasize about, since you're not available. the thrill. The safety of it not actually becoming something. I am a daydreamer. I drown myself in my fantasies when I feel myself drifting of to sadness or boredom. 

It is so much more thrilling to imagine what it would be like, if you were to glance at me, run after me or even touch me. What your fingers would feel like against my skin. How you would talk me into thinking it will all be okay. How this is something were meant to do.

But it is something I will not allow to happen, or I rather hope I won't allow happen. I love the relationship I have built with him. The thrill might have temporarily flickered away, but I know we will be amazing together. I do not want to gamble over a small feeling I have fleeting for you. And I have seen the way you look at her, heard the way you talk about her. I do not wish it upon you to let that go. 

Maybe in another lifetime.