UNDER THE MOON, Remus Lupin

xlviii.

FORGIVENESS AND FINGERS
(mature)
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Alice was too forgiving. Zephyr had yelled at her about it before she even made her decision. Then Aria yelled at her too. They were probably right, it would be a mistake. But Alice never said that she would forgive him, just that she'd hear what he had to say. It was exhausting. He hadn't even opened his mouth yet, but looking at him had her seething with justified rage.

Clint looked back. Then down at the floor. Then at her again. He nervously smiled. "Thanks for... coming."

She rolled her eyes. "Just get on with it, Madden." The two of them were gathered in the Hufflepuff common room where Clint had invited her to discuss why he'd done what he'd done.

"I... I don't know why I kissed you. I mean I know why; I'm in love with you, but I don't know what prompted me to do it," he explained with the most guilty expression Alice had ever seen in her life.

"And you think I would forgive you, why exactly? Because you just had the sudden urge to kiss me? I know for a fact you're not that stupid, you knew what you were doing."

Clint was growing uncomfortable. He was pushing up his sleeves and licking his lips. It was because he was guilty for not only lying, but for taking advantage of getting her alone. "I'm sorry, Alice! I know I'm pathetic and stupid, and I don't expect you to just be okay with it, but you're my best friend. If you give me another chance, I swear you'll never be more than that to me. Your friendship is important to me."

"It wasn't so important to you when you kissed me," Alice stated.

Banging his fist loudly on the coffee table, he placed his head in his other hand. "Alice! Why are you here if you won't listen to me!?"

"Because you haven't given me a good reason to listen to you! I don't have time for this. See you around or whatever." Alice got up and left him alone. Anywhere was better than there.

Where was she to go? She'd already told Remus that she'd leave him to his grading since he was behind. Although Alice knew that Remus would be delighted to see her anyway, she just couldn't do this to him. It was his job to be a teacher, and lately he'd been more of a boyfriend than a teacher. And there was nothing wrong with that, he just needed to divide his time better which required effort from both ends of the relationship.

After considering it, Alice realized she may have been slightly unreasonable with Clint, but she didn't care. Looking at him was like looking at someone who tried to kill you, just less dramatic. Sometimes you might miss people, you have to let them go for your own well-being. Alice's well-being had never been overly valuable to her, but this was different. Being friends with Clint would cause a lot of damage. It already had.

Years of friendship down the sad little drain.

Alice went to the library. She didn't really feel like reading, but she did have homework to finish. Cedric had come in a while after her and sat down with her. Surprisingly he didn't bring up Clint. They just talked here and there and assisted each other with their work. Then he left with a kind departure. It was refreshing.

What seemed to baffle Alice was that she hadn't been spending a lot of time with her friends. Remus had become her number one priority above everything else. She hadn't talked to Angelina in forever, and had hardly seen Zephyr in the common room or at lunch even. He and Aria were both missing a lot. What a coincidence...

Adrian and Fred didn't approach Alice a lot. They would wave at her or smile, but that seemed to be the most of it these days. When Kiara saw Alice they would talk a while, but usually Alice was in a rush to get back to Remus. She'd been very unfair to them. They were her friends and deserved attention too. Now obviously Alice wouldn't just drop Remus, she'd just split her time differently so everything was fair and balanced.