Reassurance - Matt (Mail Jeevas) x Reader

Reassurance

Matt places his hand on my thigh, his other hand placed firmly on the steering wheel. I look over to see him already staring at me. He smiles, cigarette drooping from his mouth. Tears start to form in my eyes, but not because of the cigarette smoke attacking my senses.

"It'll be alright," he says.

"I hope you're right." I try to keep my voice from wavering.

A lingering gut feeling has been keeping me on edge all day. I cannot help but shake the feeling that something will go wrong today. When Mello asked Matt if he could help him in this mission, I instantly felt my anxiety rise. That was the only reason I asked to go along. Mello seemed so confident, I have reason to believe we will be safe. He has never put Matt or me in a bad position before without us consenting. I trust him more than my ever-growing anxiety lately.

I look away, not wanting to cry in front of him. I have to be strong. That is the only way we can catch Kira. Now is not the time to chicken out. I knew going into this that I would be risking my life. And I will die if it means Kira gets the justice they deserve. But I will not throw myself into a lethal situation with no hope of advancing in the case.

Outside my window, the bright lights of the dark city swish past as we cruise by at a comfortable and legal speed. I roll down the window and stick my hand out, letting the cool wind of the night blow into my palm. My hair starts to blow from the wind. While the air smells like nicotine and pollution, it's a comforting scent somehow.

"Remember when you had to outrun the cops when I ran away from Wammy's House?" I ask, starting to calm down. Matt chuckles, no doubt remembering the situation fondly.

"They almost caught us too! What a rush that was."

"I know. So glad I joined you though."

I laugh, thinking about how much he swore when the police almost cut us off. That was our very first unofficial date. After that, we've had several other dates. Most of them were low-key, having to keep a low profile and all. I still enjoyed it, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Yet some part of me wonders what will happen once we catch Kira. What will Matt and I do? Where will we go?

We slow down for a red light. Matt takes his hand from my thigh and gently grabs my chin. He turns my face towards him. I watch him as he throws his cigarette butt out the window. He leans in, bringing me towards him. I gently close my eyes as we close the space between us. His lips meet mine for a second. In that second I taste smoke and stolen chocolate. It's familiar; soothing. It never gets old. I still feel the butterflies in my chest that I got during our very first kiss.

"I just throw the smoke bomb and drive away," he tells me. "Can't disappoint my lady."

"You never do." I kiss him again.

From the corner of my eye, the light turns green. We turn ourselves back to a proper position in our seats and start to drive again. Matt places both hands on the steering wheel as we get closer to our destination. I grab the smoke bomb from a bag in the back seat and have it ready in my hands.

"Can you do me a favour?" Matt asks. "When we get closer, can you drop your seat down and stay hidden. If anything happens, I don't want anyone seeing you."

"Just promise me there won't fuck up?" I recline my seat, laying down. This, too, reminds me of a few dates. Some dates are innocent, and some are not so innocent. Looking up at the roof of the car, fresh night air mixed with Matt's scent feels nostalgic despite it being not so long ago that we had a car date. I miss all of them.

"I can't promise that. We both know that. But I will promise, that with every bit of fight in me, I will protect you. Just follow my lead, and we'll be okay."

I sigh, but know what he is saying is true. Matt will protect me. I know he will. He has done it before and will do it again and again.

We draw closer to our destination, my gut feeling starting to return. I stay down and hand Matt the smoke bomb. He takes out the pin and clutches it tightly. We start to slow down, and I know we are here. Matt throws the bomb and steps hard on the gas pedal. People in the crowd gasp and start to chatter. Coughs fade in the distance as the roar of the vehicle drowns them out when Matt slams his foot to the gas pedal. I reach down to pull the lever on the side of the seat and sit back up.

I grab a cigarette from the center console and light it using my black pocket lighter. The empty box falls to rest on the floor. I take a long drag, hoping to calm my nerves as my heartbeat gets faster and faster.

Immediately, flashing red and blue lights chase after us. Sirens fill the air as we speed away. Matt presses to button to put both our windows up. I turn down the music, starting to panic. But Matt looks calm and determined. His lips are pursed, opening slightly to take the cigarette I reach over to offer them. His eyes are focused on the road, darting quickly to check mirrors and searching for the signs directing us along our escape route. I can see his knuckles turn white from his grip on the wheel, ready to maneuver the vehicle where he needs it to go. Yet despite seeing Matt look so sure of himself, I cannot stay calm. My anxious feelings grow worse and worse. I start to sweat, vision blurring. My heartbeat becomes unbearably loud.

"Something's wrong," I blurt out.

"What?" Matt asks, confused by what I am saying.

"I don't know what's wrong, but something is very, very wrong. We need to get these guys off of our tail ASAP."

"Just trust me, we'll be okay. Mello grabbed our target and all we need to do is get to our safe spot."

"No, trust me! We need another route!" I shout, urging Matt to listen.

"No, (Y/n)! We stick to the plan!" Matt turns onto the overpass we mapped out earlier. He also shouts, frustrated at me. I hate whenever he gets like this. Why do I hate it more than usual this time?

"Shit!" Bright lights stop us in our tracks. Matt slams on the brakes and turns the wheel to try and turn back. More cop cars rush to surround us.

"Don't get out yet, okay?" Matt says. "I'll protect you, always."

He blows a kiss before getting out of the car, raising his arms to surrender. I hear his muffled voice... then gunshots.

I stare in disbelief out the driver's side window. The firing stops, and Matt makes no more moves. Blood is spattered against the window. My eyes widen as he drops.

In a frenzy, I throw open the door and run around the front of the car. Time slows as I rush over. I can see the red stains growing on his clothes. Matt lies limp, resting in what seems to be an uncomfortable position.

"Matt!" I screech. Gunshots fire again and police shout words I don't bother to hear. I feel dull aches as I trip and fall to the ground on top of Matt. Another gunshot fires, and I start to feel faint. My vision blurs in and out, starting to go dark. Ringing fill my ears. I flop myself over to lie beside Matt, looking at his sweet face. I've always loved that face. I want to see it again. Slowly, all sensation starts to leave my body.

Matt.... I'm coming.