Keeping the Secret

11: The Tour

At the end of August, Dan and Tom officially became a couple. After a few weeks of working up the nerve and dropping hints, Dan finally asked.

At the end of August, Phil was officially heartbroken. He kept secretly hoping that something would drive Dan away from Tom like the instance at the hotel. But nothing did. He couldn't intervene either and express his feelings because that wasn't fair to Dan. So instead, he sat by quietly and watched. He watched Dan leave the house to go meet Tom somewhere. He watched as they hung out at their place and held hands and talked to each other. He watched as he missed what could have been his.

Dan might've noticed how quiet his friend was becoming lately, but Tom was too distracting. He would always loudly bring a new topic up whenever Dan's gaze started to linger on Phil. He would laugh loudly at jokes that weren't all that funny. He would over-exaggerate stories that didn't even have a punchline. All his actions were loud and boisterous.

Dan and Phil continued to create videos together, and Phil appeared his usual self on camera. No one knew. No one knew about Dan's new relationship or that fact that Phil was dying inside.

Dan and Tom were doing a good job of hiding their relationship. They avoided public dates completely and stayed in either Tom's apartment or at Dan and Phil's place. They would rarely go out in public but, when they did, they made sure to avoid PDA.

Around the start of October, Tom had basically moved in with Dan and Phil. He knew that Dan and Phil would be leaving on tour soon, so he started spending way more time with Dan.

Also around this time, Dan was getting anxious because he had yet to have his first kiss with Tom. He was nervous about it because it was Tom, and it would be weird. After a few days, Tom went back to his house to do some laundry and such, so Dan approached Phil.

"Hey, Phil? Um, how long should someone be in a relationship before it's weird they haven't had their first kiss?" Dan asked, being quite frank.

"You haven't... kissed him yet?" Phil asked. He was uncomfortable being a part of this conversation, but didn't want to appear that way.

"Well, I mean, it's Tom... and he's a guy. I've never really kissed another guy before, and I dunno... I think it'll be weird, but also I think it's weirder that we haven't kissed," Dan tried to explain.

"I mean, it's just the same as kissing a girl," Phil said.

"Wait, how would you know?" Dan asked.

"I don't," Phil said defensively. "I just mean, I'd assume it's pretty much the same."

"I guess I'm just nervous. You're probably right, but I just wish I knew," Dan said.

I mean, we could kiss, if you wanted to see what kissing a guy is like. Phil thought as he stared at Dan as if trying to send that message into Dan's brain via telepathy.

It didn't work. Dan sighed, "I guess I'll see." After that, he walked away.

~

The next day, Tom came back over, and Phil went out to see a movie with his friend PJ. Tom and Dan had the apartment to themselves.

"So you and Phil are leaving me in a week?" asked Tom.

"Yeah, but it'll only be for a month," Dan replied.

"But still. How am I gonna be able to live without you?"

Dan laughed, "I mean, I'm sure you'll be fine."

"But really. I'll miss you," Tom repeated.

"But really, it's only a month."

Tom laughed, and they moved on from that topic of discussion. A few hours later, Phil came home and Tom decided he should probably leave because he had to go to work the next morning. Dan walked Tom to the door and then remembered his conversation with Phil from the other day.