Him | k.sj.

.7

I allowed hours to pass at the network before I left and used the time to work on editing for the digital department. Work allowed me to escape into her realm and occupy my thoughts productively. I didn't have to think of my shambled love life, at least not while I was there. After work, I grabbed something quick to eat. Seunga messaged me again, wanting to know if I changed my mind. I told her I ended up working late and tired from it. I suggested seeing her and my other friends in a few days. Maybe by then, I will be good company.

Before I unlocked my apartment door, I noticed a package laying against it. Not remembering if I'd ordered anything lately, I shrugged and pick it up, carrying it with me inside once I got in. I sat the package on the coffee table and my food in the kitchen. I didn't want to do anything else until after a long, hot shower. It was exactly what I needed to relieve the stress.

Amazing didn't satisfy how relaxing the shower felt. Every muscle in body ached from the tension I held in them. The moment I walked into the network knowing what day it was, every nerve on my alerted to every detail in my surroundings-seeing him heightened it. The glare he gave me going to his dressing room told me how much I hurt him. How much I've tainted what we did and used him. I'm guilty through and through of my actions, this I admit to.

His gaze tethered to my thoughts invited my relaxation shower to a tearful one. Seokjin and I were not a couple, but our actions over the last year are the reason I talked myself out of a relationship with him or celebrities. In my job, I meet them often, singers, songstress, actors, and actresses. I acquainted myself with a handful, enough for them to address me by my first name when I see them.

My dad, having the important job at Samsung, opened the door to galas, fundraisers, parties where I see some familiar faces. Glamorous, it may seem on the outside, but I'm not brave enough to endure the struggle within. The fight to keep your life private, away from the fans and media, is a tough role to play, but I believe with the right one it is worth it.

After drowning my sorrows, exited the shower and enjoyed the nice comfort of some new pajamas I bought as I took to my couch. I stared at the package on the coffee table before opening it, but I lifted a pink album, wrapped in plastic, from the box while a subtle smile hugged my lips. I didn't need a card or note to know who the sender was.

My fingers tussled against the clear plastic, removing it and tossing it to the side-fingertips outlining the heart centering the cover. I opened it, instantly grabbing the photobook and flipping through it. Two photos fell into my lap, both with Seokjin's face gracing him. It's just like him to put something like this together. I kept flipping through the pages of photos, realizing the other members signed them, wishing me a happy birthday. My tears betrayed me again.

Shaking my tears away, I took the CD from the cover and stood up from the couch. I opened my player and placed it inside, hitting play. Smiling while I listened to the title track, I took a seat back onto the couch and flipped through the book to the lyrics. Minutes passed while every song caught my attention more than the last until I reached song six. Seokjin's voice commanded an audience as the lyrics resonated in my thoughts.

My fingers trembled as I followed along with lyrics, eyes tearing as thoughts of us came to view. My gaze stuttered hearing a familiar lyric, similar to what Yoongi said to me today. Was this a hint? A relation to Jin and me?

I stood in a huff as the album book fell from my lap and hurried to my room. I grabbed my phone and open the text message to Seokjin's name, but didn't know what to say. It's clear he's upset with me. With a quiet sigh, I text them thank you for the album and to please extend my thanks to guys for their part. I waited five, ten, twenty seconds-no answer. No surprise.

Falling back onto the bed, I rolled over, hugging my pillow tight to me. Tears drifted down, and I closed my eyes, thinking of Seokjin and wishing he would answer me. That he would come bursting through my door, wanting us to fix the mess we've created. I've created. Wanting to make love to me again and me telling him how much I love him after. A wish yes-which I would give anything to come true.

↣ ♡ ↢

↣ ♡𝒸𝓊𝓅𝒾𝒹♡ ↢