Love or Rainbows (Twenty-five Twenty-one Fanfic)

On This Side of Love

"Na Heedo, you will get hurt, rest!" Yang Chanmi shouted across the room to her unruly student.

Yang Chanmi could no longer watch Heedo torment herself in the name of training. The Olympian was striking at the training dummy like it was her stubborn heart she was striking. Coach Yang sighed, "Heedo ya, you cannot beat the love out of your heart. Neither will you love it if you hurt yourself. Stop this and rest. If you continue like this, I'll ask the association to force a leave on you."

Heedo's coach had reached out to Yang Chanmi while she was in Jeju for an international fencing competition commentary job. Thankfully, it was the final day already so she could make her excuses and leave. He said Heedo was out of control; she woke up early and was barely sleeping. Watching her eat was mechanical and she was obsessive about tying her shoes.

Coach Yang had called Yurim and found out about the break-up and how Heedo faked enthusiasm on their chats and she herself was too scared to ask the tough questions for fear of breaking her.

Coach Yang's voice finally got through Heedo. "I have been here for 2hours and you have not rested once! Do you want to fall apart completely? What is wrong with you?"

Heedo kept silent as Coach Yang scolded her. She could feel every muscle and limb was on fire but her mind felt blank. Her mind gradually drowned out the voice of Coach Yang and she recalled the first month of her break-up with Yijin.

It felt like hell on Earth; everything reminded her of him, felt like they should have been done with him. It was then she realized that she had let Yijin into all her happiness, the things that made her happy (faucet fountains and fencing), the people that kept her happy. She had showed him her whole world so his leaving her life was like the death of a part of her life.

Heedo realized something else in the first month of her break-up. In the while that Yijin was uncommunicative, hope kept her heart going but now, when they were truly nothing, that hope... died. It made her miss those days; pathetic but she missed it...

"Heedo ya, find another way to survive this. Punishing yourself with something you love is not healthy for you. For your sake, for my sake, for Yijin's sake, please stop."

Heedo sank to her knees as Coach Yang shuffled away. She was back to rock bottom. After the first month of wallowing and self pity, feeling like she was losing her mind, she had lost her self in exercise and training. She knew Coach Yang was right, she was starting to hate fencing. She knew it was her fault; it was her best kept secret these days but Coach completely tore that scab off.

Heedo sighed, she was cried out and weak. As she sank more and more into her thoughts on the floor in the training room, she kept thinking; will I just keep sinking here, can anyone hear me, can anyone save me, can anyone... Anybody at all....

"Heedo ya, grab my hand." Yurim's voice came through to her subconscious. Heedo came out of her daze. Looking up, she saw the faces of her friends. All of a sudden, the tears came and she stretched her hands towards them.... It may be slow but everything will be just fine...

A/N: how was it? Please leave your comments and thoughts 🥺