"You're beautiful Tiana." Matteo tells me reassuringly but I cant. I know he's just saying it like everyone else so I turn to look away but he stops me almost immediately.
"You're beautiful Tiana, can you not see that?" He asks me while looking cal...
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IM SITTING ALONE AGAIN.
I hated being alone, especially on the first day of school. At this point I should be used to not really talking to anyone but for some reason I can't help but be so sensitive, and I hate myself for it.
Feeling my eyes start to sting with unshed tears I try my best not to let them fall which is getting way too difficult. Why am I so fucking sensitive? Stop crying you basically have no reason to for fucks sake, they're coming. they're gonna be here. I say to myself to try and calm down.
It's the first day of high school in a new district which means I basically dont know anybody. My only friends Jamie and Anika are in none of my classes. I met Anika over summer break but Jamie moved school districts with me.
I hated being closed off, it makes me feel like I don't have a voice and also makes me feel like i'm alone all the time even when i'm not, when i'm in a room with hundreds of people I feel alone. hell I should be used to it knowing i've been like this for 16 years and trust me I kinda am but I can't help but hate every part of myself for it. I wish I could just speak but I can't and when I do I just regret it and feel like i'm annoying people.
Quickly wiping my tears I try to make my way through the lunchroom and to the back of the lunch line. They're serving chicken with some sort of red sauce on it that looks like straight up rubber. Not to mention those squishy apples that taste like nasty pears for some reason.
"Hey Tiana!" I hear a familiar voice say and I can immediately tell that the voice belongs to Anika. leaning over so the person in front of me isn't blocking my view I see her waving at me from the middle of the line. She gestures for me to come to her which meant skipping in front of the people who were in line before me and I just can't do it so I shake my head 'no'. She gives me a knowing smile and makes her way towards me instead so shes at the back with me.
I always loved her for being so understanding, thats why we became friends in the first place. She has fair brown skin, silky black hair that goes down to her waist and dark brown eyes that look like honey in the right lighting. she's wearing a nice pink off the shoulder dress that fits her perfectly.
"I thought you said you were going to make some food and pack it for lunch." I say to her
"Yeah, well my mom was hogging the kitchen to herself last night so I didn't have time to cook anything"
"You probably would've burned your kitchen down anyways" I laugh.
"Shut up! you were tearing those Panipuris up." she says with a grin, I laugh in return. Shes good at cooking but remembering how scared she was to even fry the food makes me laugh.
