Love After Life

March

March

I walk out of the Econ building at half past noon. The cloudless sky is becoming dark, signalling that a storm is brewing. It is currently drizzling, and this is already the third time this week that it has rained. I pull my sweatshirt hood over my head and tighten my grip on my bookbag strap. I sigh in relief, knowing that this is my last class for the day.

All of a sudden, the temperature drops by five degrees and the rain increases, turning from a light drizzle into a heavy downpour. The cold rain drenches almost every inch of me, and I run into the nearest building to seek shelter. The building that I ran into just so happens to be one of the campus gyms. I know I haven't been here before. I'm not one who exercises. The lights are dimmed and the hallway is empty. I walk down the hallway to see two double doors at the end of it. I push one of them open and look into the large, spacious room.

Various types of exercise equipment are spread throughout the room, but none of them are being used. A light in the back of the room shines through a crack in the closed door. I am guessing that those are the bathrooms. I see a water dispenser in the corner of the room and make my way over to that. I grab a paper Dixie cup from the stack on the counter and push down the lever to fill the cup up with water.

A door opens and closes, I turn around to see none other than the guy who has been ignoring me. God, why do we always have to meet like this. When Carter sees me, he doesn't say anything, nor does he smile. My heart drops. Does he not care to see me? Of course he doesn't, otherwise he wouldn't be ignoring me and he would actually give me the time to explain, but he hasn't.

He shoves his hands into the front pockets of his athletic shorts. He is also sporting a gray muscle tank and blue Nike trainers. "What are you doing here?"

I acknowledge his words: curt and to the point.

I give him a look and cross my arms over my chest. If he's not going into give in that easy, then neither am I, but hear me when I say that Colette Beaumont is no quitter! "I'm not stalking you, if that's what you think. I came in here because it's raining cats and dogs out there and I didn't feel like getting soaked."

"Duly noted," Carter responds.

"Why are you trying so hard to ignore me?"

"Way to be blunt about it, Colette!"

I pace around the room and run my fingers through my wet hair. "What do you expect me to say?How are you? I don't know about you, but I'm pretty messed up. Who puts us back together after we fall apart? Who glues the pieces back together once all the damage is done? Tell me so that I can fix this, to fix us." I turn to face Carter, and nothing can prepare me for what I see: he is standing, doing nothing, and he isn't even reacting.

"Just give it up, Colette, give it all up. This won't work, you said so yourself. Stop fighting because you're hurt and you'll destroy yourself if you keep trying. I can't live with myself knowing that I am the source of your pain."

"I am not going to stop fighting. I am rooting for a happy ending."

"This is reality, happy endings are for cheesy romance novels and chick flicks. Be done. I want you to be done." He tells me.

I throw my backpack on the ground in frustration. Tears cascade down my cheeks, so I shove the heels of my hands into my eye sockets to block them from falling.

"What do you want to me to say: that my life isn't complete without you, that you make my life worth living? I'm not going to tell you what you'd expect me to say, what you would've wanted to hear so many months . I am not going to feed you a bunch of bullshit, but I am going to tell you that I know that there is more than just love and hate in life. Life isn't just black and white. There's other colors, other feelings, out there that I have discovered. You taught me, you showed me the other side of life and the world."

"It's like that Chinese symbol, yin and yang, it shows that there is not only good and bad, but there is good in the bad and bad in the good. You changed me and I-I think I love you-no- I am in love with you, I am so in love with you. Did you know that I cried over you? For weeks! I, me, Colette Beaumont cried over a guy! H-how can we love others if we don't experience it for ourselves? My mom died, she is dead. My dad has let alcohol ruin all of our lives for fifteen years. Fifteen years! You know that time at the beach (back in November) when you asked me about those scars on my arms, that was from him. He abuses me and hits me, and he doesn't care, he hasn't stopped! So I have every right to be scared to love you, but I am still here, confessing my love for you, telling you about my messed up life. What do you want me to say? Tell me what to say to make us better. You're the only thing that is stable and constant in my life right now. You make me feel safe and loved. I feel like more than just the girl with good grades who can't have a conversation with anyone without crying. I- I love you, Carter Holmes. There I said it. I don't want to beg for your love and forgiveness. So now it's done. We go on with our lives and forget all of this-" My words are cut off by his lips on mine. It takes me a few seconds to come out of shock, then once I come to reality, I wrap my arms around his neck. Carter tightens his embrace on me. The kiss deepens and I feel like my heart is going to rip out of my chest. All of the thoughts in mind go numb, as he whispers four words against my lips. I love you too.

I rest my forehead against his so that the tips of our noses are touching. Carter rubs my arm affectionately and kisses my cheek.

"I was wrong." I whisper.

"Hmm?" He asks, his eyebrows raised in question.

"I was wrong. You won, you made me love you, how did you do it?Carter licks his lips and then smiles.

"It all started out like this: I fell madly in love with this amazing girl and by some luck, she looked past my huge ego and loved me back."

We kiss again, but this kiss is slow and blissful, unlike the last one. We have all the time in the world because as long as he is mine and I am his, our love is timeless.