[CBH] COMING BACK HOME

Chapter 13

*

New spends exactly five minutes in the airport before he has to go back outside to take a breath. It's an unfamiliar kind of overload, this ever-moving mass of people, sounds, smells, thousands and thousands of them in a space that shouldn't fit them all. It's a dramatic change from the small towns and villages where New's spent the last months, and the air feels like sludge, heavy in his lungs.

"Mr Thitipoom," Gunsmile says, arms crossed and looking around warily. "I can get an attendant to take us through, there's no need to actually walk through-"

"No," New shakes his head. He runs his hands through his hair once, twice, three times, until it's hanging loose by the sides of his face. It makes him feel safer. That worries him - he does go out on stage in front of thousands for a living, after all - but there are more pressing matters at hand. Namely, getting on the plane.

"Are you sure?" Gunsmile asks, clearly disapproving of New's genius plan (commercial flight, no extra security). "I can at least get you a lounge while I drop off the luggage?"

New, mildly nauseous, smiles at him. "I feel better now," he lies. "Let's go, we don't want to miss it."

Gunsmile nods, but the frown stays on his face all the way to their gate. It's a strange feeling, leaving Chiang Mai. It has a way of getting under your skin, despite the mild weather and terrible rain. New gets a little choked up looking at a Dairy Milk display.

"Everything okay?" Gunsmile asks him, with a patient hand on his elbow. New shakes himself.

"I'm fine," he replies, and turns away from the chocolate. It's not like he's never coming back, especially not if his mom has anything to say about it. "Just feel a bit-weird, like I'm forgetting something."

Gunsmile frowns, and counts their carry-ons just in case. It makes New smile, but it's not the kind of forgetting he's talking about - it's more like leaving the house and having to go back because you're convinced you didn't lock the front door, like that nagging feeling you get halfway through a journey that there must be something crucial that you're missing.

There isn't, and New knows this. He packed every last possession he had, because he wasn't going to leave any of him behind in Tay's house, and the divorce papers should be safe in the hands of the lawyer Tay recommended (whose name, apparently, is Phil, and who sounded absolutely lovely when they spoke on the phone). Gun's sorted everything on the Bangkok end - he's got an attendant waiting for him at the airport there, and a car. He's texted mom that he's safely at the airport, and he successfully managed to contain his excitement and not text Earth, because he wants this to be a surprise. Everything is fine.

"I'm sure Tay will let you know if you've left anything behind," Gunsmile points out, shouldering people to the side as he leads the way. Tay gets a first name, apparently, no stiff Mr Tawan. New sighs.

The runway is windy when they're led out, and patchy with the rain that's starting to fall. New squints against it, following the black shadows of Gunsmile's heels up the stairs and into the plane. He settles in to sleep as soon as he's in his pod. Gunsmile wishes him goodnight, even as he sits ramrod straight and scans every single passenger that passes. He looks like a gopher guarding the entrance to its tunnel, and New tells him as much, which makes him laugh.

Mom texts him just before he turns on airplane mode, a picture of Kitty sitting on the windowsill in the kitchen. Already looking for you, she's written, with one of the tongue out emojis that make New intensely uncomfortable.

I'll see her soon! he writes back, smiling to himself when another text comes through. He decides to ignore it, lest he get in a conversation he can't finish, but it's not mom this time.