Hɪs ꜰᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ (ʀᴀꜰᴇ ᴄ.)

Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 2

Hɪs ꜰᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ
Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴡᴏ
Rᴀꜰᴇs ᴊᴏᴜʀɴᴀʟ

𝗜𝗧𝗦 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗟. Life has been hell without her. So she was angry with me when she left but that doesn't stop me from missing her.

she meant everything to me. Do i dare say more than my own sister did? I mean sarah was gone too but all the pain and sadness i felt from the 3 leaving was for her.

I stopped gelling my hair back for her. I knew she liked when my hair flopped all over my head, so i stopped gelling it back once she was gone.

Did i think i looked better? I mean i guess but if she liked it then i did.

I talked to kiara once. JJ once too. Or twice.

I still didn't like them but i mean she was JJ's sister, i can't just not say "oh sorry your sisters dead, i'm sad too give me love"

No i won't do that, she meant everything to him and I.

He hasn't spoken like at all to anyone since it happened and honestly i don't know how he's even still here.

I mean he lost his sister and best friend both in the same night, that has to have some effect on a person.

I haven't gone to barry's since that night either. I haven't had the guts to face him and i knew if i went back i would go back to my old habits which i know she wouldn't like.

She's probably watching me right now, writing in this journal. Ya i know, "rafe why are you journaling?" Well she did and i guess i can document everything for her if she ever comes back.

They didn't confirm if they were dead or not but it's a likely chance they are. I'm not about to get my hopes up though.

Every time i close my eyes i can see her bright smile and her blonde hair that framed her face perfectly. I can see the bright blue in her eyes that complimented the black sweatshirt she always wore really well.

All i can hear is her laugh and the words "i'm sorry rafe"

Why did those have to be the last words she spoke to me? why couldn't they have been like 'i love you' or 'i'll miss you' or just something to keep my mind at peace.

All my thoughts are mixing together and they are about to make my head explode. Who didn't tell me that losing someone you love, (ya i said love) so much could hurt. I was barely still getting over my mom and then this shit happens.

So i guess that's the end for today? Nothing happened, just a ton of missing you.

—See you soon princess, hopefully. Maybe i won't have to write the name princess anymore if you just come back to me.

———————

Aᴜᴛʜᴏʀs ɴᴏᴛᴇ
I kinda like these journal entry's. Maybe as a Parallel she will find rafes journal when she gets back?? idk