Broken (a Niall Horan love story)

Chapter 53

***Niall's P.O.V.***

Cody's father stood at the front of the church behind a podium that Cody's casket was in front of. The top of the casket was open so that anyone could come up to it and look at the lifeless body of the boy inside. I had looked before the service had started but quickly found that it was hard to take. I didn't even know the kid that well but just looking at him made me feel guilty. That dead boy was the same guy who I criticized for so long just because he was interested in Navaeh. Maybe I could have done something differently.

Words and prayers jumbled together as I sat in my seat in one of the pews and tried not to think too much about how I had regarded Cody before his death. Ben sat next to me; he was tucked under my arm and sniffling back his tears. Jan held one of his hands and glanced over him every now and then. I was trying to comfort the young boy as much as possible and I'm sure that I was helping somewhat; pretty much everyone would love to be comforted by their idol if given the chance. It was the least I could do, really.

Every time the doors to the church creaked open I would twist around to see if Navaeh's blonde head would be walking in. The service had started an hour before and she still wasn't there. As much as I wanted to put all of my focus on comforting Ben and Cody's funeral, I was often preoccupied with thinking about where she was. Not hearing from her was really running me ragged; I hadn't slept at all the night before and I didn't think that I would that night either. I was supposed to re-dye my hair the night before but I couldn't sit still long enough to do it.

When the service ended I stuck around for a little while. Jan thanked me for coming and I held Ben for a little bit while we talked because the small boy was still crying and I felt bad for him. Of course, Jan asked about Navaeh and if I knew anything about why she hadn't come. I just told her that I had no idea of where she was but that I was starting to worry about her. She wouldn't have missed Cody's funeral just because she felt like staying home or anything like that; she wouldn't be ignoring me just because she felt like it.

Getting home was taxing; traffic in London was horrible since we were getting some freak snow storm. Yeah, the middle of March and we were getting a freaking snow storm. Apparently, there were supposed to be record breaking temperatures and freezing rain the next day. How wonderful; it made everyone act like they were driving on eggshells and that was beyond annoying. I just wanted to get to my house and dwell in my nervousness in the comfort of my own home. However, I had to sit behind a minivan for about half an hour. I don't think I have ever honked so many times in my life.

The first thing I did when I got to my place was plop down on the couch. I didn't even bother to take off my nice suit and button up (I had, however, taken off the boa constrictor of a tie that I was wearing). After laying there and letting my mind run circles around itself for a while, I blindly felt around the side table next to the couch for the piece of notebook paper that should be sitting there. Eventually, the pads of my fingers met the smooth paper and I pulled it to me.

Cody's handwriting was somewhat hard for me to decipher at first. I considered the fact that he might have been in a lot of emotional distress while writing it and that also helped to explain some of the mistakes. I wasn't much of a reader, but I had read the letter about a thousand times within the night before. It read:

Niall,

I know it may seem odd to write you a letter when I barely know you. I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for my brother; it'll be the highlight of his life and I'm really glad that you were kind enough to do that for him even though you didn't even know him. Plus, I wanted to clear the air on a few things because I feel like I owe you some sort of explanation on what was between Navaeh and I.