Shower breakdown

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The hot water.

It felt nice.

It felt better than nice, it felt like the only thing holding Deimos together.

Fucking stupid panic attacks, fucking stupid agency. He'd had a panic attack just 3 minutes ago and humiliated himself in front of Hank. Fuck this, fuck the world.

He liked it in the shower, no one would judge him, no one would hear him cry. No one would try to hurt him if he was all alone.

Except his thoughts.

They kept insulting him, lashing out at him.

Awwww, look at the little baby!

Shut up

Do you need a pacifier too?

Shut up

Should I go and get some baby food for the little baby?

SHUT UP!

Look a the little baby whining all alone

Cry little baby, cry!

They all hate you, you know that right?

They all wish you were dead

They wish they never met you

They all pity you

Deimos curled himself into a tighter ball. He sensed another panic attack incoming. His chest hurt, and he was trembling despite the hot water.
He couldn't breathe, he felt like he was dying. He couldn't get his thoughts in order. He was crying, his tears going down the drain with the shower water.
"Deimos!" A voice outside called.

No no no no no no no no no no no no no, please don't let that be Sanford, he's gonna think I'm weak, he'll kick me out, he'll not want to be friends anymore, he'll kill me.

"Are you done in there? It's been 7 minutes!" He called.
Deimos tried to speak, his chest hurt, he couldn't get his words out.
"Deimos! Can you hear me?" Sanford called again.
"I-I-I'll be done soon!" Deimos managed to say. His voice sounded croaky and raspy, like he's just been crying.

Deimos rolled away from the door and continued to cry. He was tired of this. He just wanted to be loved.

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