Project Adolescence

chapter 1 - faye.

My hand brisked the pack of shaving razors in the local convenience store, pulling them into my palm. My fingers curled around the packaging.

"Hi-Quality, You can't Miss!" The package exclaimed on the front in bright yellow lettering. I scoffed, any brand would work, everybody knew that. My favorite 'The Neighborhood' song blasted into my ears through the cheap earbuds I bought last week.

The blaring orange hued light pierced my eyes as I walked across the white tile. "Joe's Convenience" sat at the end of our street, it was a run down store, nobody knew how it was still open. I swear I found a dead rat lying amongst the chip bags last week.

I tucked my head down, missing the eyes of those walking around me, carrying myself to the register. My fingers pulled out the remaining Almond Joy, balancing it atop the razor packaging. I didn't glance up as I tossed them onto the counter, scrounging the total from my remaining pocket change.

The coins bounced around as they hit, sending the employee to let out a loud sigh. I knew he wanted me to hear it, I had made his job harder. The ache began to grow in my chest and stomach, the overgrowing knots.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to find the calm beat of my heart that I once had. The register rang and I scrunched up the items into my pockets before running out of the door.

The cool wind caressed my rosy cheeks, it was a chilly fall day. I lived in the small town of Kirkley inside Oregon, home to only two thousand residents. I lived there my entire life, hiding into the shadows, not wanting to expose myself. After being born more pale than normal with my contrasted black hair, the unwanted negative attention came naturally.

I stood out, sucking the life out of every room, making it an obscene site in a town of 'normals'. There once was a time when I was six that I felt beautiful, I had a local modeling agency seek me out. It was 'rare' and 'unique', I was chosen out of everybody else in the school. They complimented my colorless skin and blue eyes, which I had never had before.

But after the absurd amount that they were charging for modeling classes, my parents abandoned the idea. Since then, I've wanted nothing but to throw boxes of self tanner onto myself. The multiple trips to the hospital due to allergic reactions would disagree with that thought though.

My hands flushed into the pockets of my green fitted jacket, allowing the whisks of my long hair to flow out of the hood. My doc Martens smashed into the puddles that lined the sidewalk, sending drips of slosh onto my black ripped jeans.

I pushed my eyes and head further down, focusing on the concrete below me. The washed away chalk from the daycare was pooling down into a river, creating an abstract art piece.

I chuckled, I guess a little bit of darkness does help create beautiful things. The music continued blaring into my ears, switching between different genres.

My foot lost its center over a crack in the sidewalk, sending me to fall forward. I watched as the liquidated chalk inched closer to my face before stopping right above it. A arm had grasped my waist, blocking my fall.

I was pulled back up, sending my eyes to widen in freight as I watched the blades fall into the street. I was mirrored with a young boy, around my age, standing in front of me. His height was a few inches above me which caused me to look up into his face. He had black shaggy hair that dipped into his forehead, dark green eyes like a fern filled forest, and a slight scar across his nose. He had ring that clung to his nose and a smell of the ocean.

Grae Carnell .

The moody boy that everybody turned their heads the other way when he walked down the hall. He never really spoke, had no friends, and mostly kept to himself. He was a quiet one yet with such fierce eyes, everybody steered away from him.

Although, when he threw the raging house parties at his old house outside of the town, he suddenly became the epitome of the school. Everybody took notice of him those nights, wanting to stand beside him.

As an outcast, I also kept my distance, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention towards myself. I heard the common rumors about why he randomly appeared in town one day, why he had tattoos all over his body as a high school student, and why he had no family with him. But, I never studied into it, I didn't care.

Grae leaned down, pulling away from my waist, grabbing the fallen packaging. I watched in horror as he slowly read the title, taking in what he just grabbed.

Shit, shit, please don't ask. Just let the curiosity pass, please.

"Hmm..You don't often see teenage girls buying razor blades at the convince store." He said, pulling his cheeks into a slight smile.

"I-I- My dad needed them, some work thing, who knows," I stuttered out, tripping all over my words.

"Ah, father duties. Name is Grae, by the way" he said, pushing his hands into his front jean pockets.

He wore a light grey sweater with black jeans, doc Martens holding onto his feet like mine. His were cracked and used much more than mine, like he hadn't replaced them in years. I wanted to scoff, telling him that I knew who he was, but I held my mouth shut.

"You?" He asked, holding out the blade's packaging for me to grab.

Of course he wouldn't even know that I existed.

I snatched the packaging into my hand, pushing them back into my pocket and looked down at the ground.

"Faye," I muttered, letting the tip of my boot scrunch across the street.

I hated small talk, especially with irrelevant school students that I had no business talking too. I had important things to handle, the blades sitting in my pocket being one of them.

"That rhymes you know, Grae and Faye. Pretty name." He chuckled, lighting up a cigarette from his pocket.

The smoke drug from his mouth, blowing into my face, shriveling my nerves up in disgust.

"Look, thank you but I have to get going," I said firmly, ready to turn my back away from him.

He nodded which sent me to spin around around, continuing to walk home. When it's this small and you have lived here your entire life, there was nobody you could miss.

Except seeing him up close was much different than at the edge of my eye.