𝟏𝟗. ✭ 𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐘 ✭

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Check out this amazing fan art made by whothefuckissonia 

A/N: Check out this amazing fan art made by whothefuckissonia 

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Furious. Absolutely fucking furious. That's all I seem to be these days.

I've been working out as much as I can trying to relieve some of the stress but I'm only able to do about a third of my routine considering I'm still in recovery. Action is how I usually keep my mind occupied and away from dark thoughts. I'm currently not getting any of it though. I can't work up enough of a sweat to get my endorphins thoroughly pumping, drugs are out of the question, and it's not like I'll be getting laid any time soon. Self-induced pleasure isn't even a thing for me right now. My mind automatically goes to Dani's grey-blues looking up at me helplessly, something I usually enjoy visualizing. Now though, now I think about them looking at some other twatwaffle fuck who looks like me. Thinking of her being with Tristan is an instant boner killer.

After finding out about him from Brooks I went on an absolute rage. I tried to leave the house but security had managed to hold me back with the help of my sister. I feel a little bit bad for the men I beat down in the process but also not at all. Getting some of the aggressiveness out of me had been much needed. The men around me now know what I am capable of, the wrath that is all the man that I have had to be these past several years. They looked at me and I could see it— their fear. That is something I have been accustom to, that look, and a large part of me is glad to see it again. The sadistic man I'd had to be isn't just a part to play anymore. It's actually a part of me now.

Adriana had been the voice of reason through my fury. She'd begged and pleaded for me to stop, to calm down, but I hadn't, not until her tears came. I may have enjoyed the fighting, being able to let out a bit off the animal I caged inside, but hearing my sister's terrified cries had gotten me to stop. I had let Braxton pull me off the guy I'd been mauling, let him drag me back to my room. He'd stayed while I showered and changed, not making any comments whatsoever. Once I finished he left and went back to my sister.

I've been trying to make up for my sadistic behavior by being extra nice to my sister but she's not having any of it. She looks at me differently now and her usual playful demeanor has been off. She hasn't been throwing herself at her guard either. The latter I wasn't unhappy about. My sister's flirtation with the man was extremely sexual in nature and there are a lot of ways I have seen my sister but like that— no thank you.

I look down at the burnt pancake in the pan and curse to myself. The sad looking flapjack is one of my many failed attempts. I'd tried to cook breakfast to lighten the mood, maybe put a smile on my sister's face but I'd failed monumentally. The eggs got stuck to the pan and overcooked so I tried to make pancakes. My dad had always made it look effortless. I'm coming to find out that I am quite shit around the kitchen. That made me think of Brooks and the amazing meals that he'd made. If he were here he'd be able to whip up some gourmet meal that would be winning my sister over for sure. He'd done as much with me.

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