Cigarettes and Fall

Pack of Cigarettes

"How did you stopped smoking? Can you give me some tips too, I'm having hard times about it. My girlfriend doesn't like the scent of cigarettes."

The guy talking, unintentionally opens up a deep wound inside Hyunjin's heart. He looks away from the table in front of him, without realising he desperately hoped for something that wasn't possible, that was left in past...

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4 October 2019
11:38PM

"Can you not?" She said, shooting a glare at his presence in her balcony. He slowly put down the cigarette he had between his index and middle finger kindly -to the cigarette- as he ignored her. He stared at the city under him, watched the autumn taking over the city was pretty satisfying for him.

"I'm serious Hyunjin, will you stop?" She kept a stern voice, annoyed by his unbreakable attitude. He took the cigarette once again -as kindly as possible- and placed it between his reddish lips because of the cold weather.

"And will you Fida? Will you ever shut up" He whispered, he was scared that she might hear it but he made sure she heard it. 

"Oh okay. I will shut up." She said and got inside of the dim lighted room once again. She was ready to "ruin" their relationship, she started to pack her stuff with a calm vibe. He of course noticed it. He sighed and got up from his seat, thinking it's an another daily and probably simple argument.

"Come on... It's just a cigarette..." He said, eyed her figure from the corner of the room. Watched her package everything visible that is hers around, feeling sure she would stop after a while.

"As I said I will shut up but just to state, like an adult, it's not "just a cigarette".

It's the thing makes me turn my back to you in mornings because of the scent of your breath, it's the thing makes me hold my breath while kissing you,
it's the thing slowly burns your lungs and also mine with many other people,
and after all...

It's probably the thing will take one of us apart from each other...
You might not care, but I do. You can't just have a relationship, create an attachment only to leave someone behind. That's fucking selfish. Even if you want to, I won't be that person, sorry not sorry, Hyunjin."

He listens, totally unaffected. He wondered when he lost all his empathy. He didn't care if he left her behind, she would easily get over him, she was already strong enough for everything he could imagine in his eyes.

"Fida... Baby I understand... I promise I will decrease it, it's true this time."  His words might confuse her easily just by hearing but his eyes were always telling the truth.

He didn't care.

He was lying as always. She felt like crying right there. Felt so useless, meaningless in his eyes. Even it was hard to admit;

She had to leave this relationship and him or
she will be the one leaving soon.

~a month ago~

"Your lungs... They're not a regular pair sadly. Your lungs seems to be a sensitive pair and I assume you have someone around you that smokes. Right, Mrs. Khalid?" The doctor states in a calm voice, not trying to scare the patient off in a logical way.

"Yes sir... My boyfriend..." She stated, slightly shameful how her relationship looks from outside. Toxic, unaffectionate, not real...

"I know it's hard for a regular smoker to stop immediately but it seems to be the most efficient way. We would love to help your boyfriend if he also agrees. We will also use lung therapy sessions for your cough attacks to stop." He smiled brightly, satisfied by the solution he offered to a young couple. what he didn't know was that Hyunjin would never agree to this...