Lost and Found - Bucky Barnes x OC

Don't be like me, sweetheart

Back in Brooklyn, Frankie anxiously rang her mother's apartment buzzer. She lived in an old but decent complex a few neighbourhoods away, moving in after Big Frankie's passing. Her previous apartment was just too haunted by her husband's memory for Bea to stay - so she'd downsized and started afresh. Despite how close they lived to each other, Frankie and Bea rarely saw one another anymore. Bea's home was her fortress, her one part of the world she felt truly safe in.

'Who is it?' came Bea's shaking voice through the intercom, sounding sceptical of whoever was on her doorstep.

'It's me, mom' replied Frankie sternly.

There was a beat of silence and the door buzzed as it unlocked. Frankie took a deep breath, stepping inside the building and walking to her mom's front door which had been propped open for Frankie's arrival. She slipped inside and closed it behind her. The familiar scent of her mother hit her nostrils – the floral notes of her perfume, the sterility of her laundry detergent. Frankie felt a pang of sadness that she hadn't seen her in so long.

'Phones do exist, hon' sighed Bea, cautiously appearing in the hallway to greet her. She looked slightly older than the last time Frankie had seen her, a couple more lines around her eyes and mouth. But she was still her mom, they shared the same cocoa brown eyes and wild dark hair, although Bea wore hers longer than Frankie.

'Hey ma' said Frankie softly, immediately feeling guilty for her spontaneous visit. 'I'm sorry to show up unannounced. But you know how hard it is to get you on the phone'.

Bea smiled feebly and the two shared a stilted hug. 'I know, I'm sorry' she replied, her voice tinged with sadness. 'I know I'm not the best at keeping in touch'.

'It's alright, mom' said Frankie. 'I'm here now'.

Bea made them both coffee and they sat on the living couch, both feeling awkward in the silence.

'How's the shop?' asked Bea.

'Business is good, great actually. The team are really great – working really hard. We are turning a decent profit, and getting a lot of repeat customers'. Frankie smiled, taking a sip of her coffee. 'And ma, are you getting the cash I send you every month?' she asked.

Bea nodded. 'I am, thank-you. But like I always say Frankie – you don't need to do that. Your dad's life insurance policy keeps me sitting pretty, plus I get a grant thing from the GRC. You know, financial support for resettlement after the Blip and all that'.

They both winced at the mention of the Blip.

'I know Ma' replied Frankie, placing a comforting hand on her mom's knee. 'I just like to make sure you're taken care of. You know that'.

'I do. You're just like your father, too generous for your own good'.

They both shared a warm smile.

'I miss him, mom' Frankie said quietly.

'Me too, hon' replied Bea, squeezing her daughter's hand. 'And what else is new with you? You finally get a boyfriend or what? I'm desperate to tell Bernice from down the street that my daughter is dating a handsome doctor so she will finally stop going on about her son's engagement'.

Frankie laughed heartily. 'Ma! Stop'.

'I know. I know. I tell her my daughter is this bigshot business owner with no time for dating - but that's still not enough to shut her up' sighed Bea, winking at Frankie - who felt a surge of pride that her mom had boasted about her to someone else.

They both chuckled together for a moment and everything felt a bit more bearable. Like some of the tension had been swept away by their laughter. Frankie felt herself begin to relax, letting the comfort of being with her mom soothe her.

Without realising what was happening, spurred on by her mother's hand against her own, Frankie began to softly cry.

'Frankie! Honey? What's wrong?' asked Bea anxiously.

Frankie found herself opening up about everything to her mother. Meeting Bucky, who he was, how she had fallen in love, the Winter Soldier nightmare, the break up. All of it. She regressed to her teenage self, suddenly having a crystal clear flashback of a similar set up where she cried on her mom about her handsy prom date. Bea had stroked her hair and pacified her, before threatening to get the subway to her date's home and beat the crap out of him as Big Frankie tried to calm them both down. It wasn't hard to see where she'd got her fiery streak from.

Bea listened to everything intently, tightly clasping Frankie's had throughout.

'Well, that's quite a story Frank' she said gently, reeling from the tale and wiping a strand of Frankie's hair out of her eyes. She mopped at her daughter's tears with a rolled up tissue she had hidden up her sleeve. Bea always had a tissue somewhere on her person.

Frankie nodded weakly.

'I gotta say, not overly enamoured with you dating a former assassin. But I guess that is somewhat evened out by the Avenger angle' sighed Bea.

Frankie laughed, wiping her teary eyes. 'I know. I'm sorry it's not quite a doctor, ma'.

'I'm sorry honey. Heartbreak is the worst. It truly is. And it sounds like you're right and this Barney character-'

'Bucky' corrected Frankie.

'Right sorry, Bucky. I agree that it should be your choice to make, not his. But he obviously cares for you hon, he was scared for you. He must've weighed up that you were safer without him and so he made the choice thinking you'd be better off.' she sighed

'I guess' said Frankie. 'But not happier'.

Bea nodded. 'I know what it's like to feel like you want to run rather than risk hurting the people you care about' she said solemnly. 

Frankie squeezed her mom's hand again.

'Come here, sweetie' said Bea. She pulled her daughter's head onto her shoulder and stroked her hair. They sat together like that for a few minutes in silence.

'You always were so strong' said Bea quietly, kissing Frankie's head. 'Much stronger than me. You are brave, just like your dad'.

Frankie closed her eyes.

'Not like me' continued Bea. 'I can't handle what you can, Frank. I'm weak' she muttered softly.

'Ma? Stop. No you're not' Frankie protested.

'It's OK hon. I have made peace with who I am' she sighed. 'Look...I know I have been distant lately. And I'm so sorry sweetheart. I don't mean to leave you. It's just...so hard, now. Without your dad. And what happened...' her eyes glazed with tears.

'I know, mom' whispered Frankie. 'It's alright'.

'No it's not, Frank. You're my daughter, you've been suffering with this and I didn't know anything about it. I'm so sorry sweetie, really. I will do better. I promise. It's just...difficult for me now. The world is so different. I don't feel like I fit in it'.

Frankie looked up at her mother, wanting to comfort her but also not wanting to interrupt. This was the most open she'd been with her in years.

'And when I see you. I don't know. It reminds me of everything I lost, everything I missed out on. And I know that makes no sense because I'm missing out on more by not seeing you...it's just...' she let out a quiet sob.

Frankie squeezed her mother's hand.

'I'm going to better Frank, I promise. You're always welcome here, alright? With or without an invitation'.

Frankie smiled. 'Thanks ma'.

'And Frankie?'

'Mmm?'

'Don't be like me, sweetheart. Don't shut yourself off from love, OK? I know it's tempting. I know it's easier. But don't let it. Love fully, love well. It's worth the pain. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it is Frank. It's the greatest thing you can do'.

Frankie nodded. 'I love you, mom'.

'I love you too, sweetheart'.