This I Believe

Genogram

I have a fairly big family on my father's side. Of who I know (there are rumors of there being some more kids of T and L....some of them not being Ts kids.. a lot of drama, honestly), there are 26 of us (not counting my dogs...or my boyfriend! I couldn't NOT include my babies in the tree though!). We have all taken turns living next to each other, all in a row, in Chicago until MY family moved in 2013. It was a BIG change, which led to even more relationship problems than a big family already causes. My oldest uncle is nearly 50 while my youngest aunt is 25 and my cousins range from 25 to only a few years of age, which has lead to my cousins and me growing up with my 4 youngest aunts and uncles as if they were siblings! It was an interesting family dynamic to say the very least...

As seen in my genogram, the family has been torn into its own individual parts, due to overall conflict and just growth into individual families over time. One important thing to note is that my cousin M left his family in 2018 and sought refuge in mine because of parental abuse, now he feels more like a brother than a cousin. The idea of 'who is family with who' is interesting because, though we are all family, most of us don't associate with others outside of our immediate circle because of conflicts that have occurred over the years. As I said "literally everyone hates everyone", which is so beyond true! My household refuses to talk to most of the family because of conflicts that have arisen over the years, but the breaking point was Thanksgiving 2018 when the issue with my cousin began to spiral, siblings turned on each other, and children were used as pawns. If it were up to me, I have people I would talk to if I could... But, sadly, there are cousins and family that I haven't talked to in years because we are estranged from them due to the Thanksgiving 2018 issue.

This assignment was a difficult one to complete because there are alot of traits that are present in my family that don'tdoesn't seem to have an origin or pattern... I used the traits of being in the Caregiver Occupation, Substance Abuse, and Mental Health Issues because they were the easiest to track and make sense of. The Caregiver Occupation trend has been forced on the third generation, but I have no clue why. There is not a legacy here, but there is a trend amongst the female members of the family. This occupation seems to be fitting within the family considering we have mental health issues, substance abuse, and even physical and mental conditions such as diabetes and autism. There are also a number of other health conditions prevalent in the family, which has led to substance abuse and is more on the hush within the family itself. As I've aged, I've seen alcohol and drug abuse amongst the family. Most of the abuse is cigarettes and alcohol, but I have also come to know about the selling and usage of prescription pills amongst some of the family members. I have no other words. Lastly, the Mental Health trend is heavily prevalent, especially within my eldest aunts and uncle's families. They, at least to the general families knowledge, have not and refuse to seek treatment because of stigma within society and within the family. Our family tends to avoid instead of fix, which is the exact opposite of me now... I wonder how that works..

This genogram seemed easy at first, but when I began to think and create, it became harder than I thought possible. I remember talking to my boyfriend about the family relationships before he met the few extended family members that gathered at the grandparent's house and he said "It'll be fine! You're overreacting, I am sure they're lovely." and then when we left, proceeded to exclaim that he was never talking to any of them ever again. I told him so. I told you so. I told me so. I understand a genogram was meant to see trends and similarities within the family, but I was hoping there would be more positive information to report. This class is about family relationships and I have concluded that my family does not have the best relationships, not even decent ones. But, through it all, we are still family through genes and blood and marriage and law with similarities from genes to the last name we all carry