Craaven

Chapter 18: Mortemville, Montana 1981 July 8

It's been a while since I've written. Mostly because I simply just lost the motivation to write. I'm only coming back to write now because I'm bored and have nothing else to do to pass the time.

The year has been... eventful... to say the least. Getting used to Max being around has been and still is extremely hard. It's not a matter of getting the needed amount of attention from the adults in this house because everyone is so focused on the baby, it's more of an "I have to sacrifice my entire day to help meet this kid's needs so he doesn't die". Turns out, Lucy is a bad mother no matter where the baby is from or how it got here so me and Daniel are doing most of the work while she's only needed for breastfeeding or doctor appointments.

On the rare occasions that I'm not wasting my teenage years being a nanny, I'm spending time with my friends at the park and smoking until everything we think or say is nonsense and we're laughing until we can't breathe. We've only gotten closer in the past months and, to be completely honest, I think Sarah has a crush on me.

I'm not complaining. Something about the idea of an older girl liking me makes me feel older than I am and I like the feeling. I like being seen as mature and bigger. In a group of friends where everyone is older than me, it's a little hard to feel like one of them but Sarah having a crush on me definitely gives me that illusion and I love it.

She's very affectionate with me whenever we hang out. She always hugs me and makes an effort to make some sort of physical contact with me. I like the attention a lot. It makes me feel seen and valued in the group and not just an accessory these older kids picked up to be nice.

They also share my frustration whenever I vent to them about Max. They agree he's annoying and he's stealing my life from me. The support feels great and I couldn't ask for better friends. Even if they tease me about Max's first word being "Birdie" (a nickname he came up with because of what I can do), I'm still grateful that they stuck around for so long.

7th August

It's Max's birthday and, as expected, everyone's making way too big a deal about it. I only really came out of my room for the food, but other than that, I stayed hidden upstairs and ignored the commotion downstairs.

That was until Daniel's mother yelled for me to come downstairs and "spend time with my little brother". I only obeyed because I knew if I didn't the woman would throw a fit at me. I sat on the couch while Max played with a few new toys on the floor in front of me. When he saw me, he quickly got up and toddled toward me.

Immediately, I was being bombarded by the baby's erratic hand gestures and incomprehensible babbling. I just had to bear with it lest I get yelled at by the Lockwoods, which I didn't have the mental energy for. I let Max yammer away at whatever he was talking about for a good while before I decided I had enough and grabbed a quick snack before leaving the house altogether.

Daniel's family protested like I knew they would but I just said parties weren't my thing and they couldn't really do much to stop me.

I flew to Sarah's house first to see if she maybe wanted to hang out, but after seeing that she wasn't in her room, I then flew to the park to see if everyone was hanging out there. They weren't there either. For a moment, I decided it was no use and I wouldn't be able to hang out with my friends like I had wanted to. I was about to turn and leave when I randomly had the thought to fly to Steven's just in case.

I did so because I didn't want to go back home and, sure enough, everyone was there having a get-together. I knocked and Steven's roommate, Sam, answered. He was quite surprised to see me but he let me in any way and I was happy that I was finally doing something that I enjoyed.