The decent into hell is easy( Finnick Odair)

Savour every Kiss

Staring at myself in the mirror it was becoming difficult to recognise the girl who was staring back at me. That girl who had entered her games all those years ago would be ashamed of what I had become but I'd had no choice, it was adapt or die and I refused to die quietly.

"Why do you provoke him?" I didn't need to turn around to know just who had entered my room, it was footsteps I had long remembered and would until my last day.

"Why do you let me?" Turning the question back on me my eyes scrunched up involuntarily, I didn't let him do anything? "If you really wanted me to stop then you'd make me"

"Why are you here, Finn?" Moving to my bed he sat on the end and I turned to face him whilst leaning on the edge of the table. Shrugging he leant back, his hands behind his head.

"Just figured I'd come since we'll probably both be dead this time tomorrow" Well if that wasn't a cheery way to start a conversation then I didn't know what would.

"Probably" Agreeing with him he looked at me from a narrowed part of his eye before sitting back up.

"Why are you doing this? Snow said something to you, what was it?" Folding my arms I begun to chew at the side of my cheek. I couldn't tell him the truth, he would think I had completely lost it and then all of this would have been for nothing.

"Nothing"

"You're lying!" Standing up he was next to me in seconds, towering over me like he had always done but never once had I felt threatened by his presence though I can honestly say if we were to fight I wouldn't know out of the two of us who would walk away. "What was it?" Trying to move away from him he blocked the only exit

"You should get back to your room, Annie will be worried"

" Don't pretend that you care what she thinks, you resent her. You always have"

"That's not fair!"

"No! It's not!" Grabbing my arm it made sure that I really had nowhere to go even if we weren't stuck in a microscopic box. "It's not fair that she was hardly there for you in your games, it's not fair that you had to volunteer for her, or that you've had to censor everything you have felt because you thought she had it worse and you have no idea how sorry I am for that"Of all the things I had expected to hear none of that had been on the list, I thought he had come here to call me reckless or irresponsible, that I was making a huge mistake but instead he'd said something that I had always wanted to hear. "You've been playing second to Annie ever since she came out of her games and I was wrong for ever making you feel like you didn't matter. I know what they've done to you, who they made you be and I know that's why you've done what you've done. You're treating your life like its a game but it's not a game to me, Chloe. It never has been" Hand sliding down my arm it came to rest as he grabbed mine

"I'm not going to change my mind, I'm going to lead everyone tomorrow to the Capitol, we're going to end this"

"I know. And I swear I will be by your side every step of the way no matter what" Shaking my head he shouldn't be doing this, he shouldn't be saying any of this.

"No, you're staying her with Annie and the others" Scoffing he finally pulled away

"You don't want that" No I didn't but what could I say,he wasn't my fiance,he wasn't all that much to me. Not officially anyway

"It doesn't matter what I want Finnick"

"But it should! Tell me something. If Annie and Cato weren't here, if it was just you and I would you still ask me to stay behind?" For a few moments I thought about it, I wanted to say yes. To tell him that his survival meant more to me than life itself but I couldn't. Shaking my head his grip became firmer.

"No, I wouldn't"

"What would you ask of me?"

" I'd ask you to fight by my side until the end, that if we went down then we'd go down together. I'd ask you to lay your life on the line for all of this because I couldn't face living another day in a world where I can't see you or be near you, or even have you" Eyes widening slightly his stare was so intense, so focused that I felt like I was under his own personal interrogation. Slowly his hand snaked up to my face, pushing the loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"When I realised that you were going to win, that they hadn't killed you I swore that when we got you back I would never leave you again"

"Finn"

"Let me finish." Shutting my mouth quicker than I opened it he took a deep breath before continuing. " I failed to keep safe not just then but for all the time after, I failed you in all the ways that matter. I've always failed you but that ends now. I'm coming, I'm going to stay by your side until the very end because I love you, and deep down I know that you love me" Letting go of  the breath I'd been holding both of his hands cupped the sides of my face, forcing me to look at him. "Tell me you don't, look me in the eyes and tell me that there isn't some part of you that loves me" If I did this, if I said it there would be no going back but when looking at the bigger picture what did it matter anymore? Death was going to come knocking sooner or later and to die with a heavy heart full of pain and loathing was not something that anyone would want. If I was able to just eradicate a pinch of the amount of weight I was carrying then surely that would count for something?

"I can't" There was no hesitation for the smile that came to his face. " But its not enough" And just like that it was gone.

"Its not enough or I'm not enough?" Pulling away he turned his back to me, his hands gripping the town rail.

"Love is the only way that they can hurt us, you know that, you've always known that"

"Things are different now!" He snapped

"Are they? Look around Finn, we're still fighting for the right to survive. Nothings changed not really" People were still dying, still suffering for other peoples problems. " I can't let you in like that to loose you, I don't think I could handle it"

" You won't loose me!" If only he knew the truth of what I was up against, of what I was truly fighting for he wouldn't be saying it. "Just let me in, let me love you, let yourself love me because I know you don't love him the same way" I was done here, I couldn't do what he was asking and he knew that. Turning to walk away his hand shot out to hold me in place once again. "He's never made you feel how you felt about me, has he?" Not answering him he took that as my answer. "Its always been you for me" He said quietly.

"What about Annie?" I whispered as if she could be lurking near-by. "You love her Finn and she loves you"

" But I love you more, I'd give anything to make things different, to ensure you never went into the games. I thought I was doing right by you, protecting you by staying away but I realise what you needed was for me to be there. Let me be there, let me make up for all the mistakes I made. I want to be with you for the rest of my life no matter how long or short that might be, even if we die tomorrow I want to spend every second, every breath I have left by your side" Bringing his mouth down to meet mine I didn't pull away despite the thousands of voices in my head screaming that it wasn't a good idea. Weaving his fingers into my hair my own hands went to the back of his neck as the kiss deepened and for a second I forgot what was going on a round us. For a second I was able to pretend that this was the life that I was always supposed to have and that we were back in 4, not traumatised by the events of our lives but that was a fantasy and the world around us was no longer a generous one.