X-men One-Shots

KITTY PRYDE X RACHEL SUMMERS

Kitty POV:

(In this story Rachel Summers is trans.)

Can't sleep, haven't been able to since - Dallas? The massacre? Every night I just lay there - it takes all my energy just to stay solid. At least it means I don't have time to think about everything that's happened. I haven't talked to my parents in weeks. Haven't talked to Illyana in longer. I don't even know if she's... No. She's still alive. If she' still kicking after living in a demon dimension for her childhood she'll still be kicking after anything. I get up and I keep going up. Walking on air, I used to scream with excitement every time I did it. I just don't feel anything. There's something else too. Something I just can't stop thinking about.

Up through the floor boards; a ghost, a shadow. Kurt's sleeping. Don't want to bother him, he's been through even more than me and he feels like it's all his fault. Catholic guilt I guess. I'm on the roof now. Sinking upwards. The top of the lighthouse: I see a pair of legs hung over the railing, hands too, arms, brown jacket, red hair.
'Hey Kitty.' She doesn't need to read me to know I'm here. The Phoenix gives her some kind of cosmic awareness.
'Hey Rachel'
I climb onto the railing beside her, I can tell she's happy to have the company. She's still staring into the sky. It's a crescent moon.
'Uh - Kitty, I - this is probably a weird question but you - you knew my mom and I just... what was she like?
'I - I mean, I only really met her once but... she was a good person she... when I first... manifested Xavier didn't comfort me, Piotr didn't comfort me, but she did. She talked to me and - and it was just nice.'
Rachel turns her head to me now. She's so beautiful.
'I... thank you... it's been a lot hasn't it?... everything that's happened.'
I sigh. 'Yeah, it really has... I just miss everyone so much: Logan, Rogue... Piotr. Y'know, when I first joined the X-men I was only thirteen, it was eight months after my Bat Mitzvah and it felt so good but now... I... I just feel so alone, my best friends are on the other side of the world or...'
Rachel smiles and puts her hand over mine.
'Hey, you still have me.'
We watch the night sky. I used to do this every day. I loved space. I love space. Fuck. I've been to space. I kind of rest my head on Rachel's shoulder and it feels so good. I start talking again.
"It- it's just... there's so much fucking pressure all the time! I'm really smart and I - I'm proud of that but it means no one ever treats me like an actual person - I'm constantly praised and people are always talking about how 'gifted' I am but no one ever just thinks of me as kind or nice or a good friend or as an actual fucking person. I'm just like - I want to be a person in the world but because I'm smart and- and I'm a fucking X-man everyone just treats me like one of them, one of the adults when I'm not- I'm 14! I want friends! I want to have fun!" She starts to look up from the ground to Rachel. "I realised I was bisexual last year and- and I guess I've been closeted the whole time because... because who would I even tell? Kurt? Logan? I just - I just need some friends that I could actually - that I could actually talk about this to and not be having to fucking fix your computer or save the world. Rachel I- I just want to be a real person!"
She puts her arm around me. My heart is racing at the speed of light. I've known I was bi for a long time but actually saying it was... it felt incredible. Rachel looks back at the stars and speaks.
'Yeah... I - I know what it's like. Feeling like you don't have a body... before I transitioned... before I came out it was like everyone was just looking straight through me and at some other person. Some guy. When I was right there just desperately wanting someone to really see me. It was so hard... realising I was trans but it... when I came out people finally saw me. And some fuckers hated what they saw but at least they saw me. The real me. Not some guy. Also... I - thank you for telling me that you're bi. I know it's hard even if you've known it for a long time. It gets easier and I promise you'll feel so good. Better than you ever thought you could.'
'Rachel - I...'
I start to speak but no words come out. We look at each other. I think I love her. Our heads move closer and closer to each other and all I can see is her and all she can see is me and then our lips connect and we kiss and this is my first time kissing a girl and the kiss feels like it never ends and it feels like it ends too soon and it feels so good.
'Rachel - I love you.'
'I know.'