Gehraiyaan.

Chapter 46

A throbbing headache that emerged after the endless hours of overthinking the situation all night.
A pair of swollen eyes that would have pleaded on its knees for me to stop crying, if they could speak.
A sore voice that came surface after the silent, muffled cries behind the palms that covered my mouth, until sunrise.

And living through a storm on my own, I cannot help but think - people who say that death is the worst thing that could ever happen to a human haven't had a taste of the bitterness of life. People who say that in the darkest of times, one should learn to look at the brighter end of life have never been in a room absolutely devoid of light that they cannot even find the outline of their own hand. People say that behind everything you lose, there's a reason and I've lost count of the times I've stared into nothingness, wondering what's the reason behind having a destiny that throws you deeper into darkness and pain? And what's the reason behind living through darkness and pain when it has never let me grow, as a person? Why am I still holding onto grief? Perhaps, the entire point of grief and loss is to capture the art of letting go; but some of us simply learn to embrace our sorrows as a part of our lives.

My mind was a space that raced with thoughts, throughout the day. I couldn't stop thinking about Darshan because between letting him be a part of my life and losing him forever I had around four hours. Until he boarded his flight to India.

My tired eyes were glued to the clock that hung in a corner in my café and with every ticking second, my anxiety continued to grow, my breath trembled and my palms turned sweaty. Slowly, at the back of my head, I began questioning everything and it simply created a havoc in my head.

Just as my mind switched between thoughts, the door flung open and I hurried over to the counter, assuming that I have my first customer for the day. But Chinmay Roy stood at the entrance, holding the door open.

"Chinmay, I don't want to talk about Darshan!", I tell him right away, clasping my hands together in nervousness. "I'm not here for that", he reverts in a rather composed tone. "I wanted to give this to you", he holds up a small box, moments before he keeps it down on a table.

With my eyes fixed on the small box, I walk over to the table and hold it between my hands, skeptical about opening it. My gaze shifts between the box and Chinmay, before I eventually force it open. Inside lies a beautiful studded ring and I gaze at it for a long time, wondering what it means.

"Darsh left it in my apartment last night. He was drunk and before he left my apartment, he threw this on the floor", Chinmay tells me and I gently grasp the ring between my fingers.

"I know there's nothing between the two of you. But this belongs to you and I thought you deserve to know what he did for you behind your back", he says.

"He said it's for you and he was convinced that this time, the two of you would end up together and when you confess your love to each other, he would propose to you on the spot as a surprise", Chinmay narrates and I almost tear up, but my eyes are too tired to cry. I'm just a soulless body today.

"I'm not here to convince you to change your mind, because once the choice has been made, I don't have the rights to intervene. And I believe that if the person who loves you failed to convince you, who am I?", he smiles, looking at his hands.

"But I'll tell you one thing, Navya - you lost a good man. You lost a man who would've done anything in his power to bring a smile on your face. When he talks about you, you can simply listen to the love in his voice and look at the joy you bring to him in his eyes. If you looked at yourself through his eyes, you'd fall insanely in love with yourself. Isn't that the kind of love all of us strive for? The kind of love that makes us forget that flaws exist?", Chinmay takes a pause and a tear tumbles out of my eye, as I remain still, staring at the floor.