Chapter 1

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 I wake up startled in my bed and sigh. Guess I had a bad dream but I don't remember it. It's still dark outside, it won't be long until my alarm will go off though. I didn't fall asleep 'till one in the morning. I glance at my phone, 6 am. Yup, an hour before I am supposed to wake up and go back to the hell I call "school". I groan, knowing I won't fall back asleep. I roll out of my bed and stumble over to my door. As I'm walking downstairs I hear my mom mumbling to herself, "Tape... tape, tape, tape, tape." I hesitate. Wait, my mom? My mom up at 6 am? That's unheard of. I have to walk to school in pouring rain cause she's too important to get up and take me to school. I walk the rest of the way downstairs, "Mom?" I walk around the corner and see my mom quickly rolling down her sleeve, "H-honey! What- Why are you up so early?" My mom has a worried expression and is red in the face, "I had a bad dream, why are you up?" My mom hesitates, "G-glass of water, have a nice day!" she runs past me and upstairs. "Uhhh, ok?" What the fuck just happened?

I walk further into the kitchen. I don't eat breakfast anymore because I'm trying to lose weight. I might have one small meal a day. Depends on the day really. I turn to go back upstairs to change but I see a knife on the counter. I walk over and pick it up. Wait- the blade has blood on it which has gone onto the counter. I drop the knife in shock. What the hell was my mom doing?! I look at the paper towel roll and see a chunk is missing from the next sheet. Tape, she was looking for tape. I check our medicine cabinet, we're out of band-aids. Was she making her own band-aid? Why? Was she- Does she- No, no that's stupid. She's a psychiatrist! There's no way. But- but her face, the way she pulled down her sleeve. I shake my head. No, she wouldn't do that. She probably was trying to get a piece of fruit or something. I walk back upstairs to get ready for the day.

I sit down in front of my mirror and brush my long 'dirty blond' hair. I through my hair into a high ponytail and do my make-up, nothing to crazy today, I just to a basic smokey-eye and cat-eye eyeliner with black lipstick. I move on the clothes. I pick out a black, long sleeve crop top with black ripped skinny jeans. I throw on my favorite black converse, grab my Harry Potter backpack, and walk outside.

I try to forget the morning's events when I walk to school. It only takes me about five minutes to walk there, it gives me time to contemplate my life choices to not put my foot down and stop going. I laugh, that would be nice. However, I'm not an idiot. I make it to school and see a smiling girl with brown hair in braids. She's wearing a blue sweatshirt with black leggings and converse. That's Breanna, Bre for short, my best friend since first grade. "Hey Sally!" she calls, waving at me. I smile and hug her, "Hey Bre, how ya doing?" "Same as ever. Addie has already gone inside. You know her. Class star and all." Bre shrugs. I laugh, that's Addie for you. Addie is my other best friend. Her full name is Addison, we also met in first grade. Smartest in the class, if you need help with a problem Addie would help. She wouldn't tease you about it either, you could ask for help with addition as a fully grown adult, and she wouldn't judge.

The first bell rings, Bre and I say goodbye and I walk to class. As I walk down the halls I see people giving me looks and whispering. Probably about me. People hate me. I don't know why it's not like I killed their mothers. People like to remind me how worthless I am, how no one would care if I died. Their not wrong it just, gets annoying after a while. I walk into Mrs. Doris's 8th-grade math class and find Josie Ross, our infamous school bully, sitting on my desk. "Oh goodie, look who's here" Josie sneers at me. "Fuck off" I mutter as I set my bag down at my seat. "Why are you here? I thought I told you to kill yourself." Josie narrows her eyes at me, "What did you think I was kidding or something?" I roll my eyes and sit down pretending she's not there. "You know" Josie continues, "When I get signed on, I'll make sure to write a song about you. About how you helped me see what dumbasses exist in the world." "Well if I hit it big I'll make sure to write a song about all the bitches in the world, staring you. World's number one whore who thinks she's special.." I snap back. Josie's face deforms with anger, "You listen here, bitch! One day you'll finally get the memo and kill yourself. Then we'll all have a huge celebration." Mrs. Doris walks in and Josie goes to her seat. She's not wrong, but as I said, it gets annoying.

As class ends Mrs. Doris makes an announcement, "We'll be having an extra class after Lunch. It'll be about what you guys want to do for your career." I roll my eyes as I put up my books, pick up my bag and go to leave the class but Josie stops me. "Hey, fatass!" Oh great. I continue to try to walk out of the class but Josie grabs my shoulder, "Hey! I'm talking to you!" I try to shrug her off me and she goes to grab my other shoulder but she trips on my foot and falls into the trash can. Josie falls to the ground, trash goes everywhere. Josie yelps as a banana peel lands smack dab on her head. I laugh so hard I think I might pass out. I step away from the mess still laughing my ass off. I feel a hand on my shoulder, "Come on," Bre says, "Before she calls the police for rape." Bre and I both laugh as we walk down the hall to our next class.

At lunch Bre, Addie, and I sit together in the corner of the cafeteria. Addie has got her tray and Bre and I both don't have a lunch like usual. "Hey Sally," Addie says putting down her fork full of salad, "Did you ever find out who has a crush on you?" Oh great, this song and dance again. Addie and Bre came up to me one day saying that someone had a crush on me and that they know who, of course when I asked the wouldn't tell me who. I bet Bre is itching to tell me but Addie likes secret, "No I didn't. Why won't you guys just tell me." "Because this is more fun." Addie replies. "Come on," Bre whines, "It's so obvious!" "No it's actually not." I sigh, "You know how hated I am here. No one really likes me except you guys and-" "Hey." Max sits down at our table with his tray filled with as much food as he could fit. "Max." I finish. Max is another one of my friends. We met last year, we had a history class together. He was always cracking jokes about the boring shit. He kept me from falling asleep. "Were you guys talking about me?" Max has that stupid smile on his face, same one he always has. "Maybe," Bre says as she winks at me. I give her a weird look but just ignore it. Might just be a Bre thing. "You guys hear about the 'extra' class?" Max asks shoving crappy pizza in his face. "Yea, frankley I'm nervous." I reply. "I don't know what I want to do," Addie says, "Maybe a writer but I'd never write anything interesting. Anyways my language grade isn't too great." "Addie you have an A in langue." Bre says with a snort. Addie is always worried about her grade. Even an A+ is a failing grade for her. "Doesn't mean I'm any good at writing!" Addie cries. I laugh, Addie's plan is better than mine. My main goal is to become a musician. "What do you want to do Max." I ask, trying to keep up conversation. "Ehh, I don't know. Maybe computer programmer. I've been learning python." "Oh really?" I say surprised, "Could you teach me? I've been wanting to learn." Max's face flushes, "Y-yea, sure."

The bell rings signaling us to go to class. "Welp," I say, "Time face our doom." The four of us get up, clear the table, and exit the cafeteria. We all go into the auditorium. "Where do you guys wanna sit?" Bre asks. "Front" "Back" Addie and I both speak at the same time. Of course she wants to sit in the front. Max laughs and leads us to the mid-front of the auditorium. We find seats next to each other as the class starts. "Welcome 8th graders!" Our principal Dr. Will says with a smile, "This is our Occupation class on what jobs you might want when you grow up and how to get them. What extra education you might need and more. I would like to thank our guest today for coming in to talk to you guys. Please welcome, Dr. Rose!" My breath catches in my throat as a Nice looking woman with blond hair and in a cute little suit walked on stage. It's my mom.

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