Finding Hope

chapter 2

~Chapter 2~

Waking up, after what seemed like an eternity, I jerked forward sitting in an up-right position. Despite sitting in a hospital bed, I felt great. A nurse walked in, as she carried a metal try containing a turkey and cheese sandwich, with a side of Jell-O and water, her blue eyes popped out most about her, besides her perfectly set brown bun, and her bangs falling perfectly to frame her facial structure.

“Excuse me…”I noticed the unawareness of anyone in the room in her expression.  “Um…excuse me…Ms.?” why was she ignoring me, getting more irritated, I couldn’t contain myself. “HELLO! NURSE!” She walked out the room. Suddenly the room distorted, and I was in my living room.

“MOM!” seeing her was a relief, I knew that she would give me sympathy, and assurance. “Why are you crying?” I was confused. Why was everyone ignoring me? And most importantly, what was mother so upset about? “Mom” I was a little concerned. She turned off the lights and, walked up stairs. Leaving me in complete darkness, the silence of the room overwhelmed my body to the feeling of abandonment. My knee’s turned to spaghetti, falling to the floor.

I was then surrounded with people wearing black, and their faces all familiar. The sight of mom, dad, and Jason brought me to my feet. To me it didn’t add up, why were people ignoring me, I didn’t do anything wrong, did I? As my eyes scanned the crowed my attention drew to the center of the stage. A horrible composition came into view; there in the middle was a light- brown casket. A floral, etiquette, abundance of lavender baby breath and white lily’s laid over the display. Standing next to it on three legs was written in white markings “In loving memory of Iris Walker”Tears ran down my face as I watched Jason walk up about three flights of stairs and stand near my body.

“Iris was a good friend, not only to me, but to all of us,” with each pause, it sounded as if he was fighting tears. I wanted to hug him, but I didn’t want to startle him, if he could even feel my touch.

“We have known each other since before we could crawl. When she told me the time she was going over to Ashley’s I should have told her that would be a little late.” The sound of him choking back word, made the pain in my heart grow ten times more, he couldn’t have thought it was his fault right? I could tell he decided on skipping a fraction of his speech by the big gape. “But I do know that she is here with all of us. And knowing her personality she would want us to be happy. And do better in life.” At this point I was sobbing I wasn’t ready to leave them yet. As I watched Ashley take Jason’s place on stage, the pain in my heart didn’t get any smaller.

“I know I shouldn’t blame myself, but...” she stated crying, tears ran down her face, smudging the mascara into black stains on her check. “But I should have pushed her to stay over that night... she insisted it was alright. But I was curtain when she said, She, it was fine that, that I would see her again on Thursday.” I couldn’t help but yell it’s not your fault. I wasn’t able to pronounce every syllable, and I ended up blowing a strong wind in the church. I said it again but a little lower, my sobs eliminated sound of my voice. I guess she heard me because not only did Ashley look around so did Jason.

Suddenly the familiar feeling came, and once again the scene went mute, and everything halted to a stop. The new environment was silent; the only sound that moved through the air was the gasping sound of Jason holding back his sobs. He was stumping at my tombstone; I stumbled back at this sight. It was the first I ever saw Jason crying, at this point I was hurting bad, I rushed to his side, acting before thinking I was hugged him from the side.

“Jason please, please stop crying, stop crying for me.”

“Iris?” he uttered dis concertedly.

“I hate seeing you like this, it hurts!” the sobs were uncontrollable; I hoped he could understand me, let alone hear me.

“JASON! I'M SCARED”

“WHY, what happened what can I do?”

“I don’t know everything is white, I don’t want to go I love you!” that was it the words flew right out of my mouth, but for some apparent reason it felt right.

“IRIS YOU NEED TO GO LEAVE!”

“But!”

“No don’t fight it!”

“I love you Jason, I do, and I always have” I stopped crying, I guess because I finally got it off my chest, and I told him everything.” I feel like I’m going, Jason please don’t let this hold you back!”

“WAIT! Iris I have to tell you something I, I LOVE YOU TO! I always have.”