One Shot Collection

Monologue of the Non-Committal

I think running is the only thing that comes naturally to me now. Of course, I brand it differently. Adventure, free spirit. I do and go places that scare and enthraul others. But the truth, well the truth is that it's normal life that terrifies me. Making a lasting connection with people. 

I'm always on the road, I've never had a home. A place to belong. My fear is that I will find that home, that person who gives me a reason to stay. What then? No more running, no more reinventing myself. I will have to stop and face myself. Because I know now, I'm not running from others. I realise now that I never stay long enough for anyone to see beneath my adventurers mask.

What happens when that person wants to get closer. How can I let them in when I can't even let myself peek behind the concrete walls. Will they see the mess and hold me closer or shut the door, cut the ties so that I drift out to sea once more. Will I be a difficult lover? Distant and cold or will that someone warm me up. Will the road become less inviting unless it's taking me home or will I always have the itch to take off. Away from painful emotions and hard decisions. Will I learn to love myself as the other person does or will I discover that parts of me are best buried.

so many questions and no answers. But i suppose, the first step is to stop running. To turn around and take that outstretched hand. Take a deep breath and let myself take that leap.