Love me 'Til it Hurts

Chapter 13 - Clear as Day!

Meanwhile, back at the Ackles house...
Rayne Saunders...

Juliette had confessed to me what had happened between her and Jeremy the other night. I watched as my best friend fell apart at the seams. I hated to see her so torn. I hated to see her mind being warped and twisted. I hated to see how one man could twist her soul around until she was in a tailspin. I watched her cry until she threw up – unsure of what she was going to do now that Jeremy had made his intentions known.

For 5 long years; I watched her lie in bed for days at a time. I watched her get angry at everyone around her. I watched her refuse to date for months after Jeremy first left. Hell, even now she refused to have sex with just anyone. A part of her was desperate to save herself for Jeremy; I don't know if he knows that or not – that she waited for him, that she always had this fantasy of him being her first and only.

It had taken me; every single one of those 5 years to get her to this point where she even looked at another man. Cal had been good for her - he brought her out of her shell, he showed her what it was like to have a man who wasn't afraid to own the way he felt about her. I had no doubt that he would take care of my friend if she would just let him. I want her to pick Cal, I want her to see that not all men are going to cut and run on her and I want her to see what a real man does when he is in love.

It isn't that I hate Jeremy. I mean, for the most part, he is a good guy. He was the type of man who would go out of his way to help you if you needed it. And honestly, I think I may have lost some of my respect for him if he had done things differently. I just hate that the right thing has caused my friend so much anguish and pain. I would give anything to make it all better for her.

My whole life - I have been one of those women who is loyal to a fault. I will always have my loved ones back, whether I think they are in the wrong or not. So, to see my best friend hurting so much over one guy - I felt powerless. I felt like I was helpless. I only wanted to make this better for her. I wanted to ease that pain for her. I wanted to show her that while Jeremy may have run from her but he had done it for the right reasons but there was no rationale in the throes of heart-break. And there was no room for anything other than complete loyalty when it came to being on my best friend's side.

This man has hurt her and until she told me otherwise, I would not make things easy for him.

What the fuck was he thinking by telling her he was in love with her?

What did he think that was going to accomplish when he could see that she was in a relationship?

"Do you think we should have a theme?" Jensen asked from my side as the 3 of us sat around discussing the party we were planning on throwing for Juliette's 21st birthday.

"You know Jules, she loves any excuse to dress up and Halloween is one of her fave holidays so, I think a theme would be a great idea!" I replied, smiling at my man.

My man. God, I never thought that we would be here again. I never thought that we would have another chance to make things right between us. Again, like Jeremy, Jensen had done what he felt was right. There was so much pressure on him to keep a roof over his and Juliette's head, to be her guardian - ensuring she was going to school, had all the things that she needed, he had to get a job on top of going to school, which is something that his parents never would have wanted for him but they were gone and he was fighting to keep what little family he had left together. I couldn't begrudge him that, I wouldn't.

All those years we were apart - I had hoped that maybe one day we would have another chance to make a go of things and when Alexander, my ex began to make things next to impossible to remain where I was, I made the decision to come home. This was where I felt the safest. This was where my family was. And Jensen and Juliette. I needed to be close to Jensen, even if things didn't work out between us, I knew that if I needed him, he would be right there for me.