Blissful pleasure // Larry stylinson

7

'Draw inside the lines Harry. Going outside makes the picture look messy.'

"Morning louis!" Cheerful today, no one else here. I can finally see his smile again. I look at his face and yet, he isn't smiling like usual. His precious lips turned slightly down. Looking closely enough I see a small cut, barely there. Just a little red left over. But I can see it.

His head lifts up further when my voice registers in his head. "Morning" tight lipped smile. That's all? After what I've done to help you.

No. No Harry. He's not upset because of you. Give him a smile.

As I approach he spins, turns around to grab the new huddle of flowers he's made just for me. The thought alone, god imagining him here pacing around looking for the perfect flowers, just for me.

"how are-" "it's the normal price, thanks." My voice cut off, someone hurt him. He would never act like this if he wasn't upset.

'Think about what you've done.'

"Louis" a voice, not mine. One I've heard before. I see him smile. No. It's me? No.

"Hey dad, we can go now, gimme a second." His smile falters as he turns around again. I can tell, his postures off. So it's not me. His face is honest with me even when his words are not. He lies to the person who raised him. But me? No he trusts me.

"Just leave the money on the counter. Thanks" another tight lipped smile given my way before he grabs his little purse and walks towards his father.

Who hurt you?

The bell jingles and you're gone. I can see you walking away from the shop window, you smile. I can see your smiling face before it rounds the corner. Maybe, maybe it was me.

The waves that lift my body up and pull me back down, my vision blurred by the sun. I can hear your laugh, I can almost feel your touch in my skin, those pretty eyes staring back into my own. Lips I can only dream to know the taste of.

I flip my body so I lay on my stomach. Notebook open onto the last thing I wrote, harsh black pen ink cutting through every word. A delicate flower drawing at the top of the page that I left there.

'Start again? After everything you want to try again? How fucking dare you.'

My fingers move over the page as I feel the pen tip that engraved into the paper. Start again.

"I wish I could heal all the trouble your eyes have seen"
"I wish I could cure you too"

"I wish I was able to hold your hands in my own"
"I want to whisper I love you"

I love you. Such a funny phrase. To love someone so deeply you feel the need to tell them. Showing love is much more important. Showing that I'd do anything for you, Louis. I'd keep you safe and show you I love you. Would you wish to hear the words? I'd say them if you begged me too. You'd beg with your eyes when you would say then first-.

"Harry?" Dropping the pen on the paper and turning my neck, slowly. I see those eyes. Deadly, falling in love is. I can see without the sun blocking my sight, you shadow my face. I see an arm wrapped tightly around your waist. Fingers almost white, hurting you.

The man beside you, I thought I got rid of every threat. You must have left your father to go find this guy? You're mine Louis. How could you do this to me?

"hi" my voice dull as I keep my eyes on the hand attacking your side. I try and smile, yours still not present.

I raise my head and look you in the eyes. I could stare into them for hours, no, days at a time. More vast than the ocean surrounding us. My boat still tied to the dock. I can almost feel the connection we hold right now. Staring and staring, a third person that suddenly became invisible to us. Until I hear a cough and I can practically taste the anger radiating off his head.