Ivy Grows

Heart of Gold.

Walking aimlessly around the city was rather lonely and cold at night. Although it was approaching summer, the spring nights still had a chill to them. I hugged my arms tightly around my body to attempt keeping myself warm despite the wind whistling around me. Not to mention the dangers of the city at night. I get so paranoid being a woman, alone at night that I could swear every man I see is following me. Better to be safe than sorry, I suppose.

I once again checked my phone that had been non-stop ringing since I left Sam with his mouth gaping like a fish. So much so that I had to shut it off for a while. Powering it on, my lock screen starts flooding with notifications.

9 missed calls from Sam

2 missed calls from Josh

1 missed call from Jakey Wakey

Text message from Sam:
Ivy, please let me explain. I hate the idea of you in the city, alone. Please just meet me back at your apartment.

Text message from Sam:
Please at least let me know you're okay

Text message from Sam:
Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I know you're mad at me but it's no reason to put yourself in danger. It's getting dark outside now. We have to perform soon.

Text message from Josh:
Little Red, give me a call when you see this please

I'd forgotten all about the damn concert. The events of the evening had me completely zoned out of reality and it slipped my mind. I knew I wanted to go, though. Although, I don't really want to see Samuel right now. It's not fair that I take it out on the other boys who didn't sleep with the girl I love.

Speaking of Jude, my stomach churned at the lack of calls and texts from her. I'm not sure if Sam had told her he'd broken the news to me but either way, shouldn't she be the least bit concerned with my location? She hasn't heard from me in hours since we parted at the restaurant and not a single message from her.

I guess that makes sense though seeing as she was willing to sleep with my childhood friend behind my back all while having the nerve to behave possessive over me when Sam would get close to me. I think I fell too fast and I'm seeing it all too clearly now. I don't even know if what I feel for Jude is love or if it's simply infatuation. I think it could very well be a very strong crush or admiration. Either way, it hurts like hell all the same.

I send a text to Sam against my better judgment because guilt was setting in for being M.I.A. for hours. As I'm typing, I head down into a subway station to take a train up to 6th avenue where Radio City was. I wanted to wear a trendy outfit and do my makeup but now I'm going to be lucky to even see the first few songs.

Text message to Sam:
I'm fine. Tell Jake, Josh, and Danny not to worry and I'll see them soon.

Climbing on the subway cart, I take a seat near the door so I can make a quick exit. The subway is something I still haven't grown used to. It's filthy, loud, and almost always the scene a recent crime. I scroll through Instagram, not really paying attention, but doing to make myself look busy and unapproachable. That is, until I receive another message from Samuel.

Text message from Sam:
Will do. Thank you for responding.

I roll my eyes at his pathetic attempt at sucking up. This is one mistake he won't be easily forgiven for. I wish I could say I'll never speak to him again but I know that I couldn't do that. There's no use in lying to myself because I can't live a life without any of the Kiszka's. But especially him.