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Summary: Dom shows to Y/N that intimacy in sex is something she deserves
Smut Warnings: Talking of hooking up/one night stands, lack of intimacy in sex, followed by intimate sex, mentions of feeling used sexually, unwanted harsh sex, soft and gentle sex, a lot of praise and body worship, oral (fem!receiving) lotus position during sex, AFTERCARE OFC
Word Count: 4,000
Y/N's POV
As high as my body count is, I don't think I've ever truly experienced intimacy in bed.
My body count is probably in between twenty-five people to thirty. I honestly can't remember, as too many times I've been absolutely drunk out of mind, and let someone come home with me, and we'd end up in bed together.
But, I've never had a relationship.
It's scared the shit out of me. The idea of being exclusive with someone, and letting someone have that weird dynamic where they were in control of me. That was always what it felt like around me, when in high school when my friends were all getting their first significant others.
So I made a pledge to myself, I wasn't going to get into a relationship because it was too much of a worry. This feeling only intensified when we were sixteen years old; and Steph first got into her relationship with her boyfriend, Jack.
She's still with Jack ten years later, and we're twenty-six now.
And, seeing them so cute and being absolutely sick in love together always made me jealous. One of the main things was the way they enjoyed intimacy with each other, and how sickly in love they truly adored each other.
Jack's birthday, her birthday, anniversary, Valentine's, any holidays or days or occasions that were significant to them or just people in general, she'd be giggling the whole way home joking about how well she was getting treated in bed later.
And, it made me so jealous. I wanted that feeling. The feeling of coming home to a bed with someone I loved in it, and them hugging me, and loving me, and when we both intimate, both of us melting into the other.
They'd hold their hips to mine, and slowly make love to me the whole night, and thrust and rock their hips, and spend the time to love me. And, when I finally finished and orgasmed around them, I'd have someone hold me and kiss me.
But that always just felt like something that was a fantasy to me. That was something that was written in movies, in book, and TV. It was something that other people got to experience, and I wasn't one of those people.
Of course I still had things I wanted intimacy wise, and the connection and human contact.
So, I went down the route of multiple one night stands and hook ups.
I'd go to the clubs with Steph, and eventually end up flirting with different girls and guys, and end up in bed with some of them. It didn't really matter, though the physical contact was, there wasn't the love there.
