MILITARY DADDY | JIKOOK [OG]

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What I Put You Through

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Author's POV

Love…

It only has four letters, short to say, easy to pronounce but it held so much meaning behind it. It held all the undefinable feelings you feel inside for something or someone in a certain way. Everyone could say they like you, admire you and even care for you.

But not everyone could say they love you.

So who is Jungkook to forget the new nickname Jimin called him that morning? The word love slips from the general's plump lips casually as if it was a day-to-day thing without knowing it has a massive consequence on him– whether he's willing to admit it deep inside or not. The reality was laying in front of his eyes, the evidence reflected that he was definitely affected by it.

Though he said it didn't matter, though he said that Jimin was just bullshitting, though he said the older is an asshole who was just teasing him; Jungkook for some obvious reason, couldn't remove the moment from his mind even for a second. The way Jimin called him love was still ringing in his ears as if he was at the juncture… as if the general whispered into his ears many times; wherever and whatever he was doing that time… as if there's a recorder inside his head that repeat the same thing to make sure he won't forget it.

He couldn't help but ask himself why. Why couldn't he forget it, the older didn't look like he meant what he said or bothered by it either. So why, why did he busy himself overthinking the fact that Jimin addressed him love as a nickname? He didn't know if it was because he craved love, or was it because the name held so much meaning or it was simply because Park Jimin is the one who said it, but one thing for sure Jungkook just couldn't stop thinking about it over and over again.

Born as an illegitimate child because of the sin his father and his mother did once, Jungkook himself learned throughout his life that no matter what; there's no such thing as a beautiful world because the one we're living on is nothing but cruelty. He didn't even know their names or what they look like; what he knows is that their parents threw him away by putting him in a box and leaving him in front of the orphanage house's gate.

Abhor is an understatement word to describe his feelings for both of them.

He asked himself in the mirror every night back then why they threw him away. Is there something wrong with him? Is it because he was born by the disgusting intercourse they did? Or was it because he's ugly? Not enough for them? He asked those questions every day and though he didn't get an answer; he didn't stop and kept questioning like stupid. He just couldn't help it, living in the orphanage was never easy since the day he was 10 years old.

They didn't let him eat for days and compelled him to run through a big ass field round after round until they permit him to stop and if he couldn't make it to the end, they would lock him in a basement with others that failed to do the task as well and there will be men that will force him soaked in a big tub filled with ice cubes plus water with the reason to 'refresh their body', therefore left them with no choice but to finish the task just to avoid such punishment.

It hurts… When the temperature gets too cold; it feels like millions of knives stabbing all over his body right as soon as his skin touches the ice cubes. It really sent him over the edge and urged him to try harder until he became one of the top 5 kids his age that they see as a future hope for god-knows-what. Then after he received the title, his assignment got harder as time passed which makes him tremble to the bone just by recalling how painfully he went through those times.