abide

chapter 14

softness, warmth, tranquility were the things that have been missing in jihoon's life for such a long time. and when they all returned at once with just one person, the boy felt overwhelming gratitude running out heftily in everything he did. as he listened attentively to every single word uttered in the room, his hand was continuously stroking yoshi's head, as they lied down comfortably one on another. the pleasing weight of the other body jihoon could carry signified that he has never been more protected than at the right moment.

"asahi wanted to become a doctor. he strived really hard and although he left japan, he can now make use of his skills and knowledge here, helping us as a medical expert. I don't even know how many times jaehyuk's life was saved by him. if the mission was dangerous, they always keep it in the dark even if I am the leader."

jihoon saw it all although his eyes were never taken off the ceiling above their heads. he saw the young boy cramming, bending over books and documents late at nights, then he saw the tears rolling down his cheeks as he looked down from the pane on the airplane. lastly he recognized jaehyuk, his face wincing in pain under asahi's scalpel, scissors, and seams.

"becoming a doctor, saving people." yoshi counted calmly, his hand tugging jihoon's shirt to receive a sniff of hair as a reaction. "it was one of his dreams."

jihoon's gaze lowered, his head halting. something felt amiss.

"they have dreams?" he asked feebly but not hesitantly.

did jihoon have dreams? did junkyu have them? hyunsuk? maybe junghwan, he was still a teenager, excluding all the things he could do with his strong arms... something inside jihoon felt dreary. in the past few days yoshinori kept on proving how bad jihoon was as leader, how indifferent towards others, how neglectful and selfish. he has never cared to ask "why do you do this?", and now the curiosity surged. why would someone so young like junghwan decide to meddle with thugs and gangsters? how come someone so brilliant as junkyu let himself slide down? is it really money that makes hyunsuk stay despite his scaredy-cat personality?

"of course they do, I am no exception." the other boy answered, having no idea what a waterfall of thoughts he has caused inside jihoon's mind. "take a look at my jaehyukie. his one dream is to make yedam and asahi safe. once he earns enough money, he wants to take them to japan and settle down in a quiet countryside."

jihoon's corners of the lips inadvertently went up. thing so simple to attain by other could be this troublesome to someone, who decided to break his life too soon.

"my doyoungie doesn't have dreams, or at least he doesn't speak much about it. he doesn't speak much about anything, but let's not focus on it for now..." a spark in yoshinori's eyes diminished and jihoon although couldn't see it, tightened the hold on the younger's waist. "my dream is to help him start dreaming. I will send him on a therapy, it's expensive, but will make him feel alive again."

the room fell quiet. jihoon reckoned for a while longer, yoshinori tried to fight back the tears. he wasn't ashamed of exposing his true self in front of the other, yet he didn't want to burden another person with what he did in the past. at that moment jihoon's sincere tone has never sounded more beautiful. the words made yoshi change the position, he was now proping on his straightened arms, looking right into jihoon's eyes.

"jeongwoo. the one I want to protect is named jeongwoo." the boy had to tackle with his own prudential self to say this. "he is my younger brother and my dream is to provide him a life so different from my own."

the thought that more people would know about it made him shudder in fear and anger before, but now, as he willingly unfurled the truth, that there was weakness inside him, he didn't feel anything anymore.

this sudden blank spot was soon replenished with relief and lightness when the other hand took a confiding hold of his. they smiled at each other, amiably, simply, and jihoon has never felt more assured of someone's honesty and benevolence.

// ✧ //