" here lies billie eilish ." the women who worked at the funeral home said as she smiled awkwardly.
"thank you...can you give us some time..alone?"
"of course, i'll be right at the front." she said as she slowly walked away.
"i'm confused why would want to see her like she didn't almost fucking kill you."
"baby.. i never got to say my goodbyes i know she's crazy but i did love her at one point. i need my closure." i said to my girlfriend.
"whatever." she said pulling out a cigarette having not one care in the world.
"if you're gonna do that please go over alia, this isn't the time or place it's disrespectful."
"do you think i care about giving billies grave respect? id shit on her grave if i wouldn't get arrested for what she did to you." she said shaking her head.
i wanted to laugh. but instead i gave her a glare and she rolled her eyes continuing to smoke her cigarette.
"hi billie it's me eavzns..long time no see." i sighed as i touched her grave.
i really do with she could've been a better human.
"you really talking to that bitch grave im crying." alia said chuckling but i ignored her.
"i don't miss you billie, i wish i never met you. i wish you were better. why did you kill innocent people for the sake of me? why did you hurt me-" i said as my voice started to give out remembering everything that she put me through while we together.
"babe.." alia said bending down trying to calm me down but i quickly pulled myself together wanting to be strong.
"i'm okay, i'm okay." i said shrugging her hands off me wanting to be able to just get this over with.
"i loved you billie i really did. but you didn't know how to love. you knew how to obsess over things, you knew how to act. you knew how to hurt people. we were never meant for each other. you were meant for death. it's sad to say but you deserved to be where you lay today. i cant blame you for what you did and what you hurt. it was also my fault i took a stand and stayed with you after the first few times you hurt me. i should've knew it was gonna get worse."
"nah bae don't blame yourself for that shit, you were the victim you don't deserve to put that on yourself."
"alia please not-"
"no eavzn you listen to me. you are not in fault for what she did to you and others you guys were all victims and you don't deserve to live on and think you were the cause of everyone's death. don't ever blame yourself again i'm so serious." she spat only leading me to sigh, she was right but at the moment i didn't want to hear that.
"you're right, i'm sorry."
"nothing to be sorry about my love, but pack this shit up i can't stand even being near her dead body." she said once again bending down and kissing the side of my head.
oh how in love i am with this woman.
"eazvns?" an oddly familiar voice said from behind me.
i got up turning around seeing a face i thought i wouldn't see in a very long time.
"kenia?.." i scoffed rolling my eyes seeing the sight of her with flowers obviously for billie.
"it's been a while.. hasn't it" she laughed awkwardly but i just stared at her.
i didn't forget the way she let me make myself a seem fool in court while she knew what was going on between me and billie.
"you're bringing flowers..for an abuser? for a crazy person who killed her family?" i said lowly.
"billie was going through hard times in her life..she deserved at least some type of love even though she's gone."
alia laced our fingers together seeing how upset i was getting from every word that was falling from her mouth.
"what happened to you?..she deserves love- she..fucking deserves nothing and you are insane if you think otherwise," i said looking her right in the eyes trying to seem past them but it was no work.
you can't try to see the good in everyone.
"let's go." alia said throwing her cig on top of billies grave then lightly pulling me away from kenias sight not wanting things to get more serious than it already was.
as we walked away almost leading up to our car i took one more glance at kenia seeing her remove alias cigarette and replacing it with the ugly flowers she got for billie.
"oh i need a cigarette." i said only half joking.
"absolutely not get your fine ass in this car crazy."
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