Forbidden Habit

Chapter 19

Jealousy...

If anger was a strong emotion, a powerful force that guides blindly a person, then jealousy is the purest form of it. It refers to the feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possession.

It's been said that once the term of jealousy enters your heart, there is no way you can stop its spreading force. It becomes a part of our soul, a part of our skin, it directs our acts, our thoughts. It's dangerous but blind.

The woman knew about its obsessive nature, she knew the effect and was always cautious of not falling inside this trap. And she never did. Not once had she found herself feeling jealous about something, even more about someone. She was so confident about herself that she was sure about who she was and what she needed. People used to envy her, not the other way around. Not that she wanted them to envy her, not even close to that, she was simply happy with her confidence.

And just as she thought that she would always manage to slip from her dirty hands like she had been doing for so long, she fell right into the trap. She walked on her own towards her web and wrapped her body and soul around it. It felt like a spider's web, once you come close to it, you never escape.

She felt the burning desire inside her chest, hot and bothering, stinging her heart like a burning needle. She had been angry before, she had felt what this blind feeling could do to someone's mind, how it controlled their actions, but never had she imagined that what she used to think as the worst emotion a person could feel, was nothing but a piece of cake in front of this.

Yes, she feared that she might get a little jealous of the girl when she realized she had feelings for her, but not that, not at that rate.

Yet, what she had imagined she would feel was not even close to reality. She had thought that maybe with the new project they were working on they would have the chance to come closer to each other. She hoped that maybe Luna would open up more to her, maybe become friends, something more than the strangers they were.

She was so wrong though. Reality changed all of her plans, that was her conclusion after hours of lost sleep and tones of thoughts.

Instead of her being the one to become friends with Luna, someone else took her place.

It had been two weeks since the beginning of the new project and the boy, Josh, that approached Luna on the very first day, had become a pain in her ass. He and Luna stuck together, she couldn't do anything to split them and honestly, they did perfectly together.

Not even once did she find an imperfection to interfere and ruin their so-called friendship. These two and a half weeks they danced together. She would watch them interact with her strict glance, jealousy underlying on her roots. Luna's smile was what caused her heart to crack the most. It wasn't the same smile she had seen her giving to the boy Leo, it was simpler, more hesitant, and naive. She could see that it didn't reach her ears, it never it. It was something between being polite and casually hiding something else. But even that act, that small curve of her lips caused by someone that wasn't her, affected her in the worst way.

The boy did his best to release the girl from her invisible chains but Luna's walls were too high to break with a charming toothy smile and a sack of 'clever' jokes. However, Luna had indeed opened up to him a little. Their two weeks of dancing had helped them come closer to each other, not close enough, not even a little, but in the eyes of jealousy, it seemed like their relationship had bloomed.

Trying to hide the pain in her heart, she forced her face to harden, she became stoic. The look she used to give him send shivers down his spine. Her face held no emotion, she was cold and everyone noticed it. These two weeks with her strict demeanor on display made everyone keep their mouth shut, even Ms. Evans, who chose to speak to her only about things related to the lesson.