How does one write a letter, maybe start with the topic, should I get straight to the point. LOgically speaking the best idea would be getting straight to the point, nodding to myself. I pulled the feather from my mouth and dipped it into my red ink.
‘To my closest, and only friend
As you know I despise annoyances, and the man-child who calls himself king is an astronomical one, therefore I have a wondrous solution.
Would you join me in imperial assasination?
Sincerely, the one who dislikes problems’
Nodding as I read it back, “Yes this shall do wonderfully.” Closing it up melted some wax and sealed the letter, a beautiful lily sitting there peacefully into the wax.
Afterall presentation is key when proposing a deal, even amongst friends.
Evacuating my station, I went to the farm afterall it would be ghastly to not have any idea of how to prove this proposition, also I need Dave to send this letter off for me. A quick whistle summoned him to me, his large body casting a shadow over me
“Hello, dear I do hope you had a nice rest.” A nuzzle into my thigh was all I received, natural as he lacks the vocal cords to form understandable communication.
Afterall, Condors couldn’t speak, unless it was a work of fiction, or maybe the voice in my head. With a short shrug I tucked the letter into a small pouch and tied it to hislleg.
“Give this to El for me Dave.” With a nod the bird soared away leaving me behind to work on the next step of the plan, one needs proof to support a claim.
With a short smile I went to prepare for a visit. It's nice to see a friend after a year of annoying men.
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
Watching him erratically burst through my door was a delight as usual, you would think he would get used to my mannerisms by now. Oh well, with a shrug I placed the tea down sliding over his favorite brew.
“Please sit.” I smiled gently, absorbing that tired gaze and obvious disdain.
“I see you're lovely as always Dove.” An exasperated sigh, wasn’t even held in for a moment as he rolled his eyes. Ahh, there’s my best friend, the one who seems to run away at a moment's notice.
“Ah, as always a flatterer, I’m choosing to ignore your sarcasm to save this friendship. Anyway, what did you think?’ I said sipping my hot cocoa staring out the window.
“I mean usually your jokes fall through but this one was at the least very startling. To think you would choose imperial assasination as a topic.” He grinned, seemingly laughing to himself as he recalled the memory.
Well that won’t do…
“Who says I was joking.” I said with a smile meeting those eyes, Ahh, I should have spiked his tea, he needs a nap again. Oh well I’ll just send him some more chamomile. I should send a sensible complaint.
Oh he’s staring at me, what a strange expression, he seems to have choked on his tea.
“YoU WerE SeRUIous!” His voice was cracking but none the less he seemed to have yelled at me.
“Don’t shout, you know how much I dislike when you do so.” I glared slightly, and no I did not pout it would have no sense to prove so.
“Apologies, Dove this is complete insanity killing the Prince. I mean if we fail we could be tried for treason if they find out.” The poor man rambled about, see this is what happens when you don’t sleep, you lose all logic and reasoning I concluded nodding my head at the poor man, taking a sip I began.
“ El it’s pretty simple, we won’t even be poisoning him directly, just going to let him eat meat from a poisoned cow.” I said a short shrug, “They won’t be able to trace it back for what will they say, ‘You are arrested for feeding a cow’?,”I stared at him making him see the lucidity in that statement, he needs a vacation, can’t even think properly.
“But why? Why must you decide right now is the time to kill him, I understand that yes he is annoying and not completely right but there’s still time, you say it’s logical but you’re thinking about murder, not imperial assasination! How is that logical?” El spoke to me as if I was the one out of my mind, his words angry, yet confused. Obviously I had to explain it to his sleep-idled mind.
“El, dear don’t raise your voice please and listen,” He seemed to want to say something but one look made him snap his mouth shut. “ I thought about this for a long time, I didn’t simply just spit this out to you on a whim, because despite your claims it is the most efficient thing to do. Look outside you’ve seen the state of this kingdom, and it will only decline if that fool takes the throne. You want logic, let’s face the facts the king won’t last another year, do you think the prince will suddenly mature by then? That’s illogical thinking, face it the only way to get rid of weeds is to remove the root.” I spoke, this was annoying how dare he accuse me of being illogical,when he himself sayed up for nights and he can’t even properly think.
“Fine, let’s say you have a point , what will you feed this cow to kill the prince.” Agitated and forced to accept this is what I expected, watching him take another sip of relaxing tea.
Carefully sliding across the table a detailed drawing of Ageratina altissima, otherwise known as White Snakeroot. It was a deadly plant that even caused death when passed from one to another by ways of consumption. Smiling at him, I watched his face grow fascinated as he read the symptoms.
“This is a very morbid way to do something like this. Is there no other way.” He asked, but I knew he was excited after all the Prince was going to receive some of his just deserves.
“No.” It was simple and syrupy sweet.
“I’m in.” He was very excited now, but first a nap was very important.
“Good, because I already gave the Prince the milk.” It was meant to be nonchalant but I felt the judgemental stare but hey it was deserved.
“Of course you already did. I’m guessing I’ll be seeing you tomorrow?” It wasn’t a question just facts and correct facts.
“Correct, I’ve already prepared your room.” And with an eye roll he left, hmm the tea must have finally kicked in.
With a final sip I grinned, what a successful day.
Because in the end isn’t it suitable to have the Prince suffer until his final days, like the many common folk?
YOU ARE READING
In my Defense, he was Annoying
FantasyThere's a logical reason for everything and for me it was simple truth. He was very annoying.
