Kaeya Diluc Angst

1

From the day that I stood in front of that winery I knew that it could never be you and me till the end. No matter how close we got you were always bound to find out the truth. I wished every night that maybe one day whether in this life or in one the next millions we live that we could live together happily. Be "normal" brothers. Not ones who buried their brotherly love and care for each other in the deepest of their hearts that only when drunk were revealed. How I wish that maybe before you died I could hear your voice telling me how we were gonna grow up together. How we would protect each other no matter what and how we were never going to be apart. Telling me that if I ever died then you would take your life knowing that you wouldn't be able to bear with my death. Oh but we were wrong. You found out the truth. You hated my guts. But deep down you still cared. If you didn't care then would you really still carry me home when I got too drunk. Would I really be waking up with a cup of water on my bedside table every morning after I passed out drunk. You cared. You knew that you still cared for me like an older brother. We always thought that I'd be the first to die. The amount of times that I would get injured doing reckless things probably made everyone think that I'd die first. I remember you saying that if I ever got injured badly that you would carry me all the way home. That you'd carry me all the way to my grave if need be. But we never thought that it would end like this. You getting stabbed right in front of me. Why am I so weak and useless. I just stood there and stared at him running towards you. Why didn't I move. I could've stopped him. Maybe you'd still be alive. I don't care that you won't admit that you still care for me while you are alive. I just didn't want to hear those words leave your mouth right before you died right in my arms. "Take care of yourself Kaeya. I'm not going to be here to take care of you anymore but I'll watch over you. I know that you want to take your life right after I die but I made the promise to kill myself after you died not the other way around. Don't kill yourself Kaeya. I love you." Now I sit here in front of your grave. I made sure that it was placed right under the tree on the hill near the winery. Right in the shade where you can watch over it. I decided to move into the winery a few weeks after and I learnt how to run it. I hope that you're proud of me Diluc. Despite the many times that I wanted to die you pushed me through but here I am. Old and weak. Sitting next to you. I hope that you're still up there waiting for me. I'll see you soon.