You're the one thing I don't think I know how to write about
All these words seem empty compared to the ache that I feel
It's not enough, but I have to try... I can't keep it in like this anymore
I'm worried that who I was in those moments is all I'll ever be
I'm terrified, your hand is wrapped around my throat
I'm still suffocating
I'm scared, but you say that it's fine and there's no reason to stop
I'm not fine
I'm petrified, your hand is now holding back any words I was too shocked to speak and all I can do is let you
I'm still silent
I'm ruined, there's an innocence I still had... I can feel it disappearing more and more as you hold my body against this wall
It's gone now
I'm dirty, I can feel it as you finish and kiss me, I'm too stunned to do anything but allow it
I can't get clean
I'm used, but you drive me home, and watching you grip the steering wheel makes me want to cry
I cry a lot
I'm lost, as I try to act normal, as I breathe every breath of air like I'm not concerned about how fucked up I am because of you
I keep breathing
I'm angry, but this anger isn't a piping hot rod, it's the unforgiving waves of the ocean
I'm the one swallowing saltwater, rather it than the taste of you
I'm different, you've changed me in ways I don't think I can ever fix, but I keep trying
I'll get somewhere with it one day
I'm broken, just like the whimpers that come out when I'm alone in the safety of my bedroom
I don't feel safe
You'll never see it, you'll never get to know what you've done to me, and you'll never do it to me again
