play date ; phan [COMPLETED]

#37 asking to be your wife

DAN

phil and i were at dinner for our anniversary. everything was amazing so far, but i was still feeling super weirded out by what happened with chris.

i wanted chris to be happy, but with pj? i was not expecting that. it was already hard for me accept pj into our friend group, let alone date my best friend. i could even put into words how i felt. it just felt wrong to me, but how could i say that to chris? i loved chris so much. but he could not date pj.

phil could tell i was still feeling upset about the situation.

"angel?" i heard him say. whenever he called me that it definitely made a smile form on my face.

"hmm?" i looked up from my plate.

"are you alright," phil questioned, taking a drink of his water.

i shrugged, "yes...i'm sorry."

phil shook his head.

"don't apologize baby, it's okay. i know a lot happened today, i mean gosh, i'm still thinking about it." phil gave me a small smile. he was so sweet and understanding. but my brain was still spinning and questioning why this would happen. why me?

i watched as phil slowing ate his pasta. he did seem a bit nervous, i figured he was just confused on how to feel like i was. he was nervously checking his phone and it almost made me think he might have texted chris about the situation, but that might make it worse. i loved chris, he really was the only person there for me at my lowest point. pj was someone i knew who wasn't very nice, pj had hurt me with his hands.

finding out pj was being abused and blackmailed was even more challenging to comprehend. it's hard to feel bad that your abuser is being abused. but isn't that how it normally starts? people are abused and then become the abusers? if what pj told us was true, it wasn't like he had much of a choice in the matter.

i tried to focus back on dinner. me and phil talked about graduation and our future.

"i think marcus will let me start and apprenticeship at the tattoo shop," phil mentioned.

"that's sounds great!" i smiled thinking about phil doing something he would really enjoy. i had no plans for after high school.

you didn't even think you'd be alive , the dark thought popped into my brain. i tried to shake it out.

maybe i could go to college for something, but for what was the question.

"my mom was telling she she'd get us an apartment together, we can could move out," i said.

"that sounds great," phil beamed, he seemed excited for the future. i was nervous.

"hey phil," i said, fidgeting with my hands.

"yes dan," hearing him so my first name always gave me joy. when we first met and he called me by my last name all the time, i always cringed. i didn't like it. it felt like he was teasing me.

"can you not talk to chris about the pj thing right now, i want to talk to him about it on my own after i've had time to think."

phil nodded, maybe looking a little guilty like he already had said something. i figured with the way he was checking his phone at dinner.

"i won't say anything," he frowned me, looking concerned at me like he had been all night. i didn't know want else to say.

me and phil finished our dinner and began to head back home. i wished the earlier events of the day didn't happen, it seemed to have put a drag on our special day.

"let's go lay down," phil sighed as we got out of the car that was now parked at home. i nodded in agreement. i was tired. we tried to make tonight good, but the vibe was off. everything was off.

we got up to my bedroom, when i opened the door i was shocked and blinded with light.

looking around there was a dozen of tea light candles lit all around the room creating an amber glow. red rose petals had scattered the floor and on top of the pink silk comforter on my bed. my mouth fell open as i gazed around the room that was bleeding with love and romance. phil was so romantic and hot for doing this. maybe this would be the perfect way to end this horrible day that was suppose to be our anniversary.

a big smiled was plastered on my face as i turned around to see phil closing the bed room door. he turned to me and smiled bigger.

"wow phil this is beautiful!" i gushed at him.

"dan, baby," phil approached me and put his hands on my arms.

"you are my light, my love, my whole fucking heart," i was blushing, almost crying at his kind words.

but then phil start sinking down. reality slapped me across the face when i started to realize what was actually happening. my heart drop, like i was on a roller coaster and could feel your stomach shoot down your body.

tears swelled in my eyes immediately. he was down on one knee. it was like a movie. i couldn't believe it. it was like it couldn't be real, but it felt so fucking real.

tears began running down phil's face as he pulled a small box from his jacket pocket. i didn't even know he was crying.

"baby, i want to be with you forever, for the rest of my life, i want you," he was shaking, i was shaking.

"oh my god phil," i sobbed, he careful opened the black box with his shaky hands, to expose a silver banded ring. the ring had gorgeous pink diamonds scattered all over the band a long with some smaller regular diamonds. the ring was beautiful.

"marry me baby? please?" phil was begging me, i couldn't help but fall to my knees as well so i could be face to face. i honestly couldn't stand anymore after he spoke those words. my legs fully gave out.

i placed my hands on his and still with tears rolling down my cheeks and sobs escaping my mouth,  i managed pull out the words 'YES!' from my throat. we just collapsed into each other. this moment was heart wrenching, realizing you've found your soulmate. it's the biggest relief anyone can feel. it was ecstasy, a high i didn't think i'd ever come down from.

"yes phil, yes!" i kept mumbled through the sobs. "iloveyouiloveyou."

"i love you baby boy," phil sobbed into me. i grabbed his shirt so hard i couldn't let go.

shakily, phil had slipped the ring onto my finger. it sparkled. it glowed. it radiated true love.

looking back into phil's pearly blue eyes, i leaned in and kissed him. we kissed hard and passionate. it was messy and salty from the tears. i was in love with it all. i never wanted this moment to end. 

my heart was full. finally, full of love.

the kissing got more and more intense as he slipped his tongue into my mouth, exploring everywhere.

"god, i want you baby," phil moaned into my mouth. his words send a shiver down my back. i felt my pants tighten.

"phil, i need you," i whined to him, he grabbed my ass and squeezed hard and rough causing me to yelp followed by a moan. i needed him more than ever.

i felt phil pick me up off the ground and carry me to the bed. phil put me on the bed and threw himself on top of me. looking into his eyes, i felt so whole in the moment. everything complete, nothing could bring me down.

all the stress, anxiety, gone. phil was all i needed.

and there i was, were i was always suppose to be.

under phil lester, with a lock around our hearts.

THE END

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