A Hero's Secret Plight

The Might of the Mountain

It had become so overwhelmingly warm beneath my sheets that you would think that I would not allow them to bother to cover me. I was very adamant about keeping them there, just because I liked the weight of them on me, though I was made to bathe every morning because it made me smell of body odour. This one night in particular, I'd stuck my feet out for cool air, tossing and turning. I would be made to leave in the very early hours of the morning and to tell you the truth, reader, I was frightened.

I could not tell anyone that I was frightened but it was the same as when we went to Opus for their games. The first nights, until about a week in when I was more settled, I would have what are now called panic attacks, all alone in dark rooms so that not even my father would ever know. I feared my fear, I guess you could say, this time around, for I knew it was coming now and it had been so potent before. What was more than that, everything I had ever owned was packed to be carted off with me and then it would be like I never existed in Phthia, the only home I had ever known.

I felt like I would be all alone in this world, so I decided to wake up Patroclus. Tip-toeing to his bed in the middle of the night, he stirred when I'd tried to climb into it, then promptly ordered me back into my own bed, very much embarrassed. Other boys would say they would do it to their parents when they required comfort but I could never approach my father like that, only my therapon.

"I'm scared," I told Patroclus.
It was dark but he let out a strangled breath, like he had paled at the thought.
"But if you're scared, why should anyone else be strong?"
This annoyed me. I thought he might understand.
Yet, it was a sentiment I needed to learn, for I would have many men looking up to me as their leader in battle later on.
"Come with me, Patroclus."
He scoffed, offended. "I can't just— My life doesn't revolve around you."
"Will you come with me, please?"
A pause.
"I'll think about it."
I was never one for stoicism, like my father was. I did not have as much dignity and plead and begged, so unbefitting of my station.
"Patroclus, please. I don't want to be alone and I don't want you to be alone either. Won't it be best for us both if you go? And besides, I would miss you. Ever since you came into my life, I don't know how to be without you."

As you can see, yes, I was always this intense. Through a long stretch of silence, I waited, staring at a spot in the darkness where I knew he was while he considered my proposal. "Okay," he said, "I'll go." He stayed up with me all night, distracting my anxious mind by formulating a plan. He was not officially allowed to bother Chiron and stretch his kindness, so he would wait to leave later than I did, when no one would notice him missing and a good distance away, I would be waiting for him.

I don't remember the royal send-off as much as the journey. Only was I allowed to bring a few changes of clothes and a new, hand-painted amphora. It was masterfully made but on these travels, I did not really care, only for the fact that it was full of water for the day's journey. We had to leave early if we wanted to be there by the evening.

I was escorted to the very edge of the kingdom, for we would not make Chiron walk more than was necessary just to meet me. I'd never seen a centaur in person before, so you can imagine I felt a little intimidated. He was a very imposing figure, so much so I tilted my chin upwards to seem taller. I would later learn that animals did this as well, even before they would come to pounce.

Our journey began going past the hills and pathways I knew well. My feet thrust me forward over the rocky, uneven paths. My father had told me to keep to them more than once, for beasts with sharp teeth and claws lurked behind the trees. You wanted to travel on open ground, where you could clearly see your assailants. That's why the centaurs created these pathways, after all. The beasts seemed not to like them very much because if they lost the element of surprise, they would not have their meals.