College

Rae new this day was coming around again, the worst part of her life, the thing she hated the most.

no amount of music to drown out the world could stop this day coming.

she never spoke about it just ignored it as much as possible like it were some kind of evil thing, just like a fear she had to over come.

she never spoke to Finn, the gang or Kester for that matter about the things going around in her head.

Finn knew she was struggling with the thought of going back to college again after the summer.

just the little things she did.

changing the subject if someone mentioned it.

she was slowly pulling herself away from the world back into her shell, her comfort zone, away from all the bad stuff, the voices and the stares.

her Rae armour had gone with the summer.

she pulled away the first day of college leaving Finn stood there alone again.

no one had seen her all morning.

she was just gone.

Finn knew something had to be done or she would be gone out of reach again, she was there but not all of her just like a shell, her bubbly personality was gone, she's avoiding him just like last year.

he walked around looking for her she was no where to be found.

she ran as fast as she could out of the building needing air away from people away from everything, away from life.

As she stopped to catch her breath, she looked back it was quiet no one around just her alone.

she stood in the middle of the field, away from that building, the building she can not stand but the building that will provide a future for her.

the voices are back stronger then ever.

and she listened to them.

she couldn't go home.

she couldn't go to Kester not yet.

but she could go to Finn's house.

he once said when she needed space away from the world or if it was becoming to much, she should always go to his no matter what time or day it was.

it felt like home to Rae, his room was nearly the same as her's.

same Oasis, Blur, Weezer posters.

same records.

his smell.

this was her comfort zone.

they spent many summer afternoons nestled in this room not moving just being in each other's company, with there music.

it was home, where she belonged in the world, with Finn.

she let her self in luckily Finn's dad was at work, she put her bag down, slipped off her jacket and shoes.

flicking throw his many records for the one that calmed her down.

she laughed as she saw Babylon zoo.

Oasis was what she needed nothing else would work.

Wonderwall flowed softly around the room, she began to relax.

He knew where she was straight away without a second thought he jumped on his back and headed back home.

He opened the front door quietly, he could hear Wonderwall, it was her way of coping, many times this summer she arrived out of the blue just to play that same record.

Finn opened his door, she was sat on his bed staring straight ahead at the wall, tears in her eyes.

he gently sat down and took her in his arms.

"Rae what's wrong?"

she sobbed into his chest not replying.

"Tell me Rae please" he begged

he for what felt like a life time she finally pulled away wiping her eyes with her sleeves.

"..I.. can't do it" Rae whispered barely audible.

he gently pulled her back into his arms.

"You can Rae what happened to all the talking we did about this day with Kester you said you was ready" he gently wiped away her tears, lightly kissing her temple.

"Im sorry, i thought i could then i was there it was just to much at once, i was panicking i didn't know what to do ya know"

"Suppose so, at least i knew where you ran off to this time, don't do it again alright?"

"Alright" she mimicked.

"good so..college what's happening then, coz you gotta go ya know or they'll fail you girl"

Rae frowned thinking about this she had no reply to that.

she jumped up to change the record ignoring him.

"well i think you should get your stuff coz your coming to college with me now" he said as a matter of fact.

"i can't Finn" she said softly with out looking at him.

he stood slowly making his way to her hugging her from behind resting his chin on her shoulder.

"you can" he murmured in her ear softly.

"please Finn i can't, I'm not strong enough for this" she tried to pull away from him but he wouldn't let her go, not this time they were going to talk this out even if it took all day and night.

"Rae will ya just stop this" he let go and spun her around to face him.

"what happened to this Rae armour stuff, breathing and counting stuff coz i don't think you've tried" Finn new he had to be tough or she wouldn't listen at all.

"what's happened Rae ey?, what's changed?,tell me coz i don't get this, you went back last term with Chloe, you both went back"

she pulled away not wanting to look him in the eyes.

"i just can't!" she shouted wanted to get out, escape somewhere, anywhere.

"just tell me!" he shouted back shaking slightly this was making him angry and annoyed, he new she had stuff but he already new everything there was to know about it all, he's even spoken to Kester.

"I'm going home, I don't have to listen to you" Rae spoke softly.

"fine go then!" Finn shouted he knew as soon as he said it, it was wrong but it was done now what could he do just let her blow off some steam.

He watched her walk away, the door slammed shut behind her.

That's the week they didn't speak.

The gang tried, but neither would budge.

There just as stubborn as each other.

On the eighth day of no talking he saw her at college looking miserable as ever, head down not speaking to anyone just sat on the bench with her headphones firmly in, that's how he knew he'd won this argument, he also knew had to take the first step other wise this would go on forever.

He dropped down on the bench with a thud causing Rae to look up at him.

"so" he said after five minutes of no one attempting to talk.

"so" she mimicked him not knowing how this was going, she had dragged herself out of bed that morning after an eight day sulk and also that her mum was nagging constantly, she wanted to prove to herself she could do this one thing.

he gently grabbed her hand in his.

"so you coming to pub tonight?" he glanced at her with a -I've-totally-won-with-argument- grin.

"Alright" she smiled at his stupid face, scrunching her nose at him.

He kissed her for the the first time in eight days to him it felt just like there first kiss again.