Valentine's Day

Questions

"Do you like Harry?" Paola asks making me choke on my food.

I cough a couple more times before raising my hands and having her slap my back.

"Stop!" She says desperately.

When I finally stop and drink water from my plastic cup, Paola says, "Gosh! I didn't want that to happen!"

"Why do you even ask me that?" I say confused and a bit frustrated. Where did that even come from? I haven't said anything, or even flirted. But then, according to my friends I suck at flirting. Paola even expressed once that she doesn't understand how I 'attracted' Christopher.

"You spend a lot of time with him," Paola says.

"It's true," Sophie adds.

"OK.... so?" I ask. Does 'spending too much time with someone' automatically mean I like them? If yes, then... well... they're wrong.

"So, it looks like you like him," Lori says looking away. I think talking about crushes and boys doesn't interest her. She probably finds all the boys ugly or immature. She's kind of right, but sooner or later some will get cuter and more mature. Hopefully.

Sophie looks at me wide-eyed waiting for an answer. I snap back and think of an answer.

"Well, I don't."

"Are you sure?" Paola asks obviously not believing me.

"It's totally fine if you do. He's nice and a close friend and fun. It's OK to move into a new relationship even though it's kind of soon-"

"What? Wait! What? No. No, thank you," I answer. Me and Harry? No way! He's a great friend, but that's all. Besides, I don't jump into relationships like that. Too soon.

"Why not?" Lori asks.

Before I can answer, Paola says, "She still has feelings for Christopher."

"No I don't," I say too quickly. Wait, I do.

"It's OK if you do," Sophie says in a soft voice.

"But I don't." Shut up! I do.

"Why?" Lori asks purely out of curiosity.

"Because..." because I do, but I don't want to admit it. Why? Because it makes me feel pathetic.

Lori still awaits my answer.

"Because I don't," I finally say. That's that. No more questions.

"Then why won't you consider being with Harry?" Sophie asks.

"Because no. Because I don't go from one to the next.... I'm not... it's too soon. Can we talk about something else?" I ask frustrated. Now I just really want to be with Harry and Crystal. They help me get distracted by just joking around and having fun.

"Is the play thing still at your house?" Sophie asks.

Oh right. The play we have to act for English class. I'm excited for that. I like acting like people that I'm not. I find it fun.

"Yeah. Mom said she'll buy burgers and have the guys make them on the barbecue," I state.

"That'll be interesting," Paola says.

'Definetely', I agree by nodding.

No one says much for a while and it's all awkward stares until Chris passes by our table. He walks by and doesn't even look my way. I wish the ground would swallow me. On second thought, I don't want to be under the ground. But I do wish I could get over him already. This is getting old and I'm getting tired. Maybe Harry wouldn't be so... no. I'm not going to be like those girls who get dump and try to feel better by getting someone new. I'm going to get over him completely and officially. Then, maybe, I might date someone. But I'll be wiser when I choose who.