Where I've been and Where I'm Going

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Hey guys. It's author here. It's been a very long time since I've done much of anything here. And I want to apologize for that. It's been pretty hectic the past few years. So I just wanted to give a bit of an update on where I've been and where I plan to go.

Where I've been...

So, the last time I sat down and wrote a chapter for anything currently on going was about 2 or 3 years ago. Leaving my senior year of high school and entering my freshman year of College. I was planning on majoring in History so I could be a teacher and minoring in English so I could be a published author on the side.

That summer, after being single for my senior year, I got a girlfriend. I'd say it was a good thing at the time. And thus there went some of my time to write. And things where going fine into my freshman year of college. I was writing on and off, trying to focus on my classes a bit. Spring break came and I was doing great. Then Covid hit.

It's a downhill slope from here.

To start off with, I did not do well with online classes. I am a person who needs to be in a room with a teacher to learn better. I found it too easy to get distracted with just being at home and within arms reach of any thing that kept me entertained at home. On top of that, my then girlfriend started getting upset that I couldn't go and see her. Whenever I would hyper focus on something, whether that be doing homework, playing games, or writing, she started to berate me and say I'm a terrible boyfriend (which should have been a red flag a lot sooner than I realized it). On top od that, I failed 2 classes that semester. Which as a person who had only come close to failing a class twice in all of high school, was awful. And so my mental health started to decline more than it already was.

I didn't go back to college the following fall and instead, picked up a part time job. Which also didn't please my girlfriend because I couldn't text her during work and less time to go see her. And she would start picking fights over what seemed to me (maybe it meant a lot more to her) over things that seemed trivial.

After a while, I just didn't feel good to write. When I did write, I didn't feel like it was the best work I could have out there and so I would start something and then stop and delete it. I'd half start projects and then leave them hanging for months without revisit. Writers block was a constant issue. It wasn't looking good.

And just last year, the final string snapped on my relationship, and my girlfriend broke up with me. And I was in a dark place... for about two days. I realized in reflection how shitty I was getting treated in the relationship for most the time no reason other than existing.

Part of me feels like all of this is just "o woe is me. I have depression" and that I should suck it up. But there is part of me know that understands that mental health is just as important as physical health. Yes, it took me a while to get to that conclusion, but I got there.

I have been seeing a therapist since then and slowly getting to a better mental place. It's not all magically fixed like in the movies or even books, but I'm getting there.

I recently just finished my second year of community college and have applied to a university. And I think things are looking up.

And if any of you out there are having mental health problems, I encourage you to reach out. I can't tell you how many times I've thought that I need to fix this alone or I'm all alone in this. And sometimes having that second voice that isn't in your head help you figure it out helps. I would recommend professional help like a therapist but if you have a good friend or group of friends you trust and know will help you, then by all means.

I just encourage you to get help. Because sometimes it's easier to face that demon with a friend and not alone.

Where I'm going...

I am making plans to return to this wonderful platform. I'm starting writing here and there. I have a few more projects that I am keeping in the dark for now, but they are there. It might not be this Grand return with chapters left and right, but we'll see.

Well, that is about all for the moment. I was looking back at some of my work and the unreleased chapters and felt you guys deserved to hear the whole story on why I haven't been updating. If any of you are interested, I have a twitch channel now, where I stream pretty much every Sunday around 2PM EST. I am in a Arma 3 StarSim unit. Just look up LtAndrew19 on twitch if you're interested

Ok, enough plugging other things. Hope you all have a good day, and until next time, see ya!

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⏰ Last updated: May 22, 2022 ⏰

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