Ishqiya 2 (Continued)

A Void in the Heart

Rumi goes out of the house to buy medicine for her mother when she notices Hamza's car parked outside, in the same spot where it was when she saw Hamza for the first time after they separated. She gets perplexed as to how is it possible that he's here. She goes near the car and to her surprise, Hamza is sitting in the car with his hand on the steering wheel which is covered in band-aids. She panicks and runs to the passenger seat.
She sits inside, looks at Hamza and freezes. He has tears in his eyes. He holds her hand with his broken one.
Rumi feels this is her chance to tell Hamza all of her feelings, so before even asking him how he happenee to be there, she starts sobbing and explaining things to him.
"Hamza ab mujhe chhod ke mat jana. Mujhe tumse aaj bhi utni hi mohabbat hai jitni pehle din se thi."
Hamza stays silent and shows no expression.
"Hamza bolo na kuchh. Ab tum kahin nahi jaaoge, bas mere paass rahoge."

"Rumi main tumhein yehi kehne aaya hun ke bahot dukh dekh liye hain humne aur hamari families ne. Ab bas. Tum yehi chaahti thi na ke raaste alag ho jaayein. Ab se kabhi tum dikhogi bhi toh main raasta badal lunga. Main marte marte bachaa hun uss mohabbat ke liye jisko meri qadar hi nahi hui, toh aisi mohabbat mil bhi jaaye toh kya karunga uska main. Mujhe maaf karo." Hamza joins his hands.

Rumi panics and grabs Hamza by collar of his shirt with both hands.
"Nai Hamza. Nai. Please aise mat bolo aise mat karo. Ab main aa gayi hun na tumhare paass ab tum door hone ki baat mat kro dekho tum mat haath jorho mujhse haath jurhvaalo minnatein karvaalo lekin ab mat jao."

"Rumi hamesha tum par hi kyun hota hai, ke chhod kar jana hai ya nahi? Tum hi kyun decide karo ke tumhein mere paass rehna hai ya mujhse door hona hai?"

"Kyunki tumne galtiyaan ki thi Hamza!" She shouts.

"Main wohi baatein fir se nahi dauhrana chaahta. Mujhe dairr ho rahi hai ghar jana hai. Khudahafiz."

Rumi looks at Hamza, and feels like she doesn't belong there on that seat anymore. The same seat she used to sit on and Hamza didn't let her open the door herself. He would run to open and close the door for her, always. She thinks how it has come to this, Hamza indirectly telling her to get out of the car so he can leave and never cross paths with her ever again.

She wipes her tears, opens the door and gets out. Hamza doesn't even look at her. She feels a rush inside her that she can still convince him while he's in front of her. She goes to his side and telld him to open the window.
Hamza opens it and asks what is the issue.
She joins her hands again and pleads to him. He doesn't even look at her.

He finally starts driving slowly and rolls the car window back up. Rumi slams the window and walks with the moving car, shouting to him.

"Hamzaaaa!! Meri baat suno please Hamza. Mujhe baat karne ka mauka toh do main tumse maafi maangti hun. Hamza ruk jaao please kholo!" She says and slams on the window one last time before Hamza speeds up and drives away.
She feels like something fell inside her. She falls to the ground and starts screaming.

"Rumi? Rumi beta? Beta kya hua? Uttho!" Her mother jerks her awake. It was 6 in the morning.

Rumi remembers her dream very vividly. She touches her eyes, she was crying in real life over her dream.

"Bura sapna tha mere bache? Kya hua?"
"Ji ammi. Bura sapna tha. Bahot bura."
"Soja mera bacha."
"Ji" Rumi lays down again and checks her phone, it's 4:30 in the morning. She thinks to herself, "Kehte hain subah ke sapne aksar pure hua karte hain."
She then texts Zoya for any updates on Hamza's recovery and puts the phone aside.
Unable to sleep, she gets up and goes outside to pray. She asks Allah for peace to her heart after this nightmare.

When she comes back she checks her phone and sees Zoya's message.
It read: "We are shifting Hamza to Pakistan hospital because they said hope is fading. Mom dad said he should be in his home if that is what Allah wants. I'm so lost Rumi."

Rumi feels like there's no ground beneath her feet. She cannot even share anything with her mother because all this might stress her out.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Next day, Rumi is serving her mother dinner when she holds Rumi's hand and asks her to sit. Rumi feels like her mother is going to talk about something important.

"Beta, mujhe tumse kuchh baat karni thi."
"Ji bolein ammi."
"Beta main theek toh ho gayi hun, lekin fir bhi, aik din toh mujhe jana hi hai na. Meri sirf yehi chahat hai ke main jaane se pehle tumhara ghar bastaa dekh kar jaun mere dil ko sukoon rahega beta."
"Ammi fir wahi baatein?"
"Mera bacha, Bilal aik achha ladka hai, aur tum dono behno ka khandan bhi aik ho jayega. Woh tumhein khush rakhega."
"Ammi lekin woh-"
"-Woh jhalla hai thoda beta, lekin dil ka bura nahi hai. Mere dil ko khushi hogi Rumi beta agae tum maan jao toh. Zindagi mein koi aur khwahish baki nahi bachegi agar tum meri yeh khwahish puri kardo. Meri darkhaast hai Rumi tumhare Abba ko bhi wahaan sukoon aa jayega je unki bachi akeli nahi hai"
"Ammi aise matt kahein."
"Maan ja naa mera bacha?"
"Ammmmiii!!"

She strokes Rumi's hair and gestures in request.
"Beta please?"
"Bas karein ammi. Aise request kar ke mujhe sharminda na karein. Agar aapki khushi isi mein hai toh theek hai. Aap Hamna ko bataa dijiye meri taraf se haan hai."
"Shukar hai Allah ka. Main abhi Hamna ko phone karti hun. Khush raho beta!"

Rumi feels she is betraying Bilal now as well by saying yes, but she thinks she made a better decision than going back into Hamza's life. Maybe that is what he wants considering what ever happened on her last day in U.S. She finally convinced herself that she is not giving any more suffering to Hamza and will move on with wherever her life will take her.

She is left alone with a void in her heart, of a love who's fighting for his life, a mother who just got her life back, a sister who doesn't understand her, a father who left her too early, and a child who she never got to see.💔

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Hey guys, please don't forget to vote and comment!!!! ILY allll!!!!💋💋