𝙍𝙚𝙙𝙪𝙘𝙩𝙤 {𝙎𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙪𝙨 𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠}

Thirty Eight

Sirius lay awake in his bed, looking over to check his clock which read three fifty two, he couldn't sleep, and his mind raced as fast as a broom, yet sat as still as the black lake.

Three pairs of snores coming from each corner of the room didn't help either as his body lay exhausted yet his eyes wide as boulders. He had a quidditch match in nearly four hours and he hadn't slept a blink. He was trying to focus on going to sleep. Counting backwards from one hundred, singing to himself, tossing and turning to every available angle, but to no avail.

Sirius knew what was keeping him awake, and despite his countless attempts to rid himself of these thoughts, he couldn't help but see Raina's face when he closed his eyes. She was a work of art, Sirius loved her, he was sure of it. Over the past few weeks, he had come to realize that he had loved Raina for much longer than he thought.

From the first day he met her on the Hogwarts express, to the dreadful day in third year when he had watched her kiss his brother, all the way to the moment he saw her dressed for Narcissa's wedding, it had always been her.

Since fifth year, Sirius commonly spent nights with random girls only to disregard their existences the next morning once he'd gotten what he wanted from them. Some girls didn't mind and did the same to him, others didn't take it as well and would cry or beg, only for him to politely apologize and let them down.

This, in fact, became so common, that it soon became something of a routine, seeing a new girl at Sirius' arm every few days, hearing girls whisper and gossip about him, and Sirius enjoyed it, he loved getting attention from women without having to break a sweat.

He would throw himself at girls, and to his delight they would do the same, so you could probably imagine the shock that his friends were put in when the girls stopped coming to the dormitory, and when he was no longer reacting to or enjoying the stares and giggles that followed as he walked past.

Remus was the first one to bring this up after Sirius hadn't had a girl in the dormitory for two weeks.

He and Sirius were sitting together quietly in the common room when two girls had walked past Sirius giggling. "Hi Sirius." One of the girls said in a bashful kind of flirty way. Sirius simply looked up and nodded in their direction before returning back to his doodles unfazed.

Remus noticed this and looked up from his book. "Alright, what's going on with you, Padfoot?" He said, as if he'd been dying to ask forever.

"What do you mean?" Said Sirius, genuinely.

He rolled his eyes. "Those girls were completely drooling over you!"

Sirius shrugged. "So what?"

"So what?" Remus scoffed. "They were gorgeous!" Remus exclaimed. "And you barely even acknowledged them. Months ago that little 'Hi Sirius' " Remus mocked the girl's high pitched voice. "would've had you up and your arm wrapped around her shoulder."

"Dunno." Shrugged Sirius uninterested. "Not interested, I suppose." He said as he continued doodling, Remus simply looked at him blankly.

"Not interested?" He repeated, Sirius began getting agitated.

"Would you just drop it, Moony?" He sighed. "Did you not think sooner or later I'd grow up and stop making sex my whole life?"

Remus truly was taken aback. He raised his eyebrows, but he said nothing. Sirius moved his hair out of his face and went back to his doodles, neither said anything else on the topic after that.

Sirius just wasn't interested in the girls at Hogwarts anymore. They weren't Raina. Raina was special. She had a pretty smile and gorgeous eyes, and she smelled like lavender and citrus.