When Roman came down the stairs the following morning, ready to leave for work, he found Marlena curled up on the sofa, asleep, with the telephone receiver on the floor beside her. Deciding to let her sleep, he put the phone back in the cradle, and he went into the kitchen for some coffee. Their relationship had been strained for months, and Roman had no idea how to fix it. He wanted everything to be the way it was before he 'died', but what he'd returned to was children who thought another man was their father, and a wife who seemed distant, and sad all of the time. He had left behind a wife who had allowed him to take the lead on things, and returned to a wife who was independent, and argumentative. He'd thought that letting the twins stay in Colorado, as they requested, would give him, and Marlena time to reconnect; however, she seemed even more distant now. Almost angry, and Roman wasn't sure how to reach her...or if he even could reach her.
Sure she smiled when he told a joke, she kissed him at all the right moments, they had made love at least once per week...until their argument before she disappeared, when Stella had imprisoned her at the warehouse...but it wasn't the same. Roman knew the distance was growing, especially since they hadn't spoken about their massive argument the night she went missing. He had said a lot of things in anger, and those things were still hanging between them. It was almost Christmas, and he had not made love to his wife since the beginning of October. He had no idea how to try, and heal this rift between them. He knew the argument was bad, but he had been hoping they could just avoid mentioning it, and move on, but as he remembered it, Roman knew...that was an argument that couldn't be ignored.
"That's your answer? That's your solution to all this, Doc? You're just going to turn your back on it like that? That's how you solve our problems? Doc! Doc! We are like two ships passing in the night, here!" Roman screamed at her, his frustration rising at what he considered to be her lack of a response. She just wanted to leave, go to her conference, and 'think things over'. "I can't believe that we thought that we actually had it all back! You listen to me...we are losing each other. I've been fighting it, but I just can't...the closest we have come to really connecting, was when you got drunk at Wings. I mean it's really sad to think, that you have to be under the influence for the two of us to even enjoy each others company!"
"You know, I don't remember hearing any complaints about the time we spend in bed together," Marlena said to him with a calm, controlled, fury.
"I'm not complaining about that. I just want more of it!" he continued yelling. She was angry, he could tell, but she refused to be baited, and yell back at him. Roman wanted a response from her. He needed something.
"Well, I'm a working mother with responsibilities. Do you mind? I have a lot going on. What should I do, do you think?" she asked him sarcastically. "Maybe I should just come home on lunch, would that work for you? Or weekends? We could turn up the television set—!"
"—I'm not talking about the sex thing! I'm not talking about just your body! I want the whole package! I want you, I want your brain, I want your soul, I want your heart! I want all of it here, but you're not giving it to me! So what the hell are you saving it for? Or maybe I should be asking, who are you saving it for?" Roman screamed, and with that harsh, angry, final comment from him, Marlena walked out.
Roman knew he went too far, and now the problem was...how to come back from that? What they had when he was taken by Stefano in 1984, was not what he returned to in 1991. He found himself more than a year later trying to figure out how to salvage his marriage. Sometimes he found himself questioning whether he even wanted to try, and salvage it. He knew that Marlena wanted the twins back home, yet he found himself putting her off. Bringing Sami and Eric home would make Marlena happy, he knew that, and yet every time she brought up the idea he changed the subject, or found an excuse for them to stay a while longer. He sometimes wondered if he was doing it out of spite...to keep them away from John. If he was being honest with himself, he was keeping them in Colorado...just to keep them away from John.
When everyone had returned from Mexico, Roman had allowed John to tell the twins that he wasn't their father, because Marlena had asked him too. John explained to them that the man they knew as Mr. Patrick was their real father, Roman. Roman had even allowed John to put the twins to bed one last time, but after that Roman wanted him out of their lives. The problem was that the twins had known John as their only parent for five years, and he'd been in their lives since they were babies. The twins were eight years old now, and when they were born, Roman had been with them for barely a month before his untimely, forced, departure. Eric and Sami lost John, when Roman returned, and in reality, they mourned him, and refused to try, and bond with Roman at all. Marlena told Roman to try, and reach them, instead he'd given up on them. He knew he had. At least they trusted Marlena, but they barely acknowledged him. He'd let his pride get in the way. It was his pride that allowed him to be angry with eight year old children for loving John more than they loved him, and, while he knew it was irrational, he couldn't figure out how to get over it. Why should he have to find ways to get his own children to love him? He was their father, but that bond wasn't there.
It wasn't as if Roman didn't want his own children around. It was that having them around caused Marlena to advocate for John seeing them, and Roman wanted John firmly gone. Having the twins in Colorado kept John out of the conversation...until he'd saved Marlena's life. Roman didn't know how to continue pushing John out, when the man had saved his wife's life.
Since Marlena's rescue from the pit she had become more and more distant. Occasionally she tried to talk to Roman about something from that time, but he didn't understand why she was so stuck on it. He'd tried encouraging her to forget about it and move on and she seemed like she was trying, but now Roman wasn't so sure, especially after his conversation the day before with Kim.
"I wish there was something I could do for Marlena," Kim told him.
"What do you mean?" Roman asked.
"You know all the things that she's been going through," Kim said, as if he was already aware.
"Oh, you don't have to worry about Marlena. She's doing just great," Roman had told his sister carelessly.
Roman walked out of the kitchen, and stood for a moment, watching Marlena sleep on the couch. In her sleep, her hand twitched towards something, and she mumbled, "Are you real?" Roman had no idea what she was dreaming about, but he needed to let her know that he was leaving for work. Reaching for her shoulder to wake her, he stopped abruptly when Marlena said, "John...oh G-d! I knew you'd find me..." A tear rolled down her cheek, even in sleep, and Roman's jealousy flared up again, hot, and fast. His wife was dreaming about John, probably about John finding her in the pit at the warehouse. Fucking John Black, again! Deciding to leave her asleep, Roman walked out of the house.
