BALH2 Reimagined

Reimagining E161: Pyaar Bhari Baarish

Context

[Ram and Priya hurry back to Kapoor Mansion, out of the rain. They banter. Ram accidentally says he loves Priya, and is apologetic. Priya says Ram is special to her.]

"I want you to know that you are special to me, Mr. Kapoor." Her every instinct screamed to look away. To turn tail and run after revealing so much. But she had seen the foregone conclusion in his eyes. That he thought his loving her was an aberration, some sort of grievous mistake on his part. It was a mistake -- she couldn't fathom what it was that he saw in her. But suddenly, she could't bear to see him tiptoe around her so. His love for others was the lifeblood of his soul. He didn't expect any of that boundless affection in return; just that it not be spurned. She would not be another among those that dampened his spirit.  

Today, she would be honest, even if it scared the hell out of her. 

"I know," he chipped in, immediately. He always doing that. Bailing her out of having to express her feelings. 

"No. Please...let me just say this before I freak out."

"Okay." Wary blue eyes trained on her, waiting.

"You are very patient with me, Mr. Kapoor. It's funny, you know. You are the one always whining about my taunts, but you never ask me to change or stop. If only you knew what percentage of those taunts started out as compliments in my head before I forced myself to bite my lip." 

She could see she had surprised him, with this seeming non-sequitur. 

"I know...I know we agreed not to fall in love when we first got married..."

"Please, Priya. Let's not start that again."

"..and I know that the last time I reminded you of this agreement, I hurt your feelings. I'm sorry, Mr. Kapoor. But I didn't know that things had changed for you then! As they were doing for me..."

Ram's eyes widened, and he made as if to move towards her. But her next words stilled him.

"Mr. Kapoor, we've been through a lot this week. And we have both been keeping important things from each other.  I don't know why you didn't tell me about Vedika. Normally, a lie of omission would just prick my pride. How dare someone think they could pull the wool over me so easily? But this lie... it sunk my heart. Fear. Stark fear was all I felt. Did you not tell me about her because she was not just the past, but something to be rekindled in the future? "

Ram opened his mouth to argue -- he didn't know what he was going to say -- it was just imperative to stress how absurd, how wrong it felt to think of himself in conjuction with Vedika, now. But a fat lot of good that would have done. Priya continued on, unseeing, spewing a fresh set of insecurities that twisted his heart. 

"Shame. Is it fear's twin? It is in my case. I could barely look you in the eye and tell you the truth about my father. How should I have said it, Mr. Kapoor?  That I'm related to a man so twisted and vindictive, he wouldn't bat an eye before taking someone's life? Everytime I think I have his measure, he introduces me to a new corner of his depraved mind. I'm not a naturally optimistic person, but I've always believed I would be free of him. A part of me was relieved when he left us; when I married you and proved him wrong. But I see now, he is like a dog with a bone when it comes to my happiness. I'm sorry Mr. Kapoor, but this was the hardest pill to digest. Not the threat of Neeraj behind bars, or Maitreyi casting aspersions on my sisterhood, or my mother's supposed humiliation at the hands of a husband who never respected her. It was facing up to the fact that all the self-respect, honour and values I so haughtily lord over you, amounted to nothing in the face of his machinations. To admit he can snatch away our happiness, your regard, your life even, all while I stand by. I was not brave enough to tell you the truth. I will always be the walking raincloud that showers you with his curses and ill-will. I know that you would not have held me to blame, big-hearted as you are. But I didn't want your kindness. I didn't deserve it. I didn't have the courage to try..."